This Time Around
by Pilya
Summary: Tsukushi left Tokyo in despair after Tsukasa lost his memory. But is there more to it than just a decision to give up? New rating up!
1. Prologue

THIS TIME AROUND

A Hanadan Fanfic by Pilya :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Hana Yori Dango (wish I was that creative- maybe then I'd be rich now!)

A/N: I've only watched the HYD live action series – the Japanese and the Korean versions. I only saw parts of the Taiwanese version (but that was years ago). And I've read only part of the manga. I'm a late HYD fan so please bear with me. I've made a few changes…

Tsukushi's age when she met the F4 was 17 in order to make some of the circumstances in this story more acceptable. And Tsukasa lost his memory after her graduation from Eitoku.

I've mixed some parts of the Japanese and Korean live action versions since the Korean one was much more in depth.

I'm too lazy to research some of the details so some of the info are assumed or inferred from some of my favorite fanfics written here.

This is my first fic! Please R&R! :)

*****

**PROLOGUE: **

The young woman used her finger to trace over the letters in the epitaph of the marble tombstone… It was a cold and frosty morning, the weather adding to the eery atmosphere of the cemetery grounds.

_How will she bear saying good-bye? How can she leave him behind? He was her Savior, her best friend, her soulmate.. Her husband._

After 5 long years she was finally able to pick up the pieces of her life; even though it was only a shadow of the life she had led before, still, it was her life now. It was the life she had built for herself since she fled her roots so many years ago…

She took a deep breath and let out a sigh… Tears falling down her cheeks. It was so cold, she could feel the damp seeping into her bones… She shivered, hugging herself.

A promise made was a promise kept… She owed it to him to keep her word. And though it may break her again, as it did before, she told herself that she can move on. That it was time for her to continue with the rest of her life with no regrets. She will always have these past 5 years with him to keep as a talisman within her heart. To be sure, she will need it when she returns to face her family and old friends – their accusations, their condemnations…

But she must gather her strength to face everything once again. She owed it to him. And she owed it to her son, to finally give him a taste of where he came from.

"Madame, it's time to go. You will be late for your flight", the chauffeur's voice break into her thoughts.

She quickly rubbed the palms of her hands against her cheeks, and said, "I'll be right there, James".

She pressed a kiss into the fingers of her hand and lovingly pressed it once again into the marble tombstone. Slowly she stood up. _You will always be with me, Hanazawa Rui. I love you. _And with one last look, she climbed into the waiting limo.


	2. Chapter 1: Back In Tokyo

*****

anokas2757: Thanks for reading my story! :) It made me so happy to see someone reading my story! Yes, Rui is dead here... I like Rui but in the Japanese live action, I really feel he and Tsukushi aren't meant to be together but in the Korean one, especially in the later eps, Jan Di and Ji Hoo seemed like they suited each other better xp Hope you like the rest of my story!

*********

**Chapter 1: BACK IN TOKYO**

"Yuki, where are you going?" Nishikado Soujirou asked while coming down the staircase as he saw his wife of three years standing by the doorway.

"I have to meet my friend at the airport. Remember, I told you about it?" Yuki busied herself buttoning up her coat and fixing the contents of her purse, not looking her husband in the eye.

"Oh, right. Have fun..." Soujirou suddenly seemed at a loss on what to say. He stood there awkwardly.

"I have to go. The plane arrives in 30 minutes." Yuki finally looked up and stared at her husband straight in the face. This had always been a sore point between them.

"Take care of yourself.. Remember, you just gave birth a month ago.." He approached her and gave her a hug from the back.

"I will.." Yuki's heart warmed at his gesture, and turning to face him, she returned his hug keeping her arms wrapped loosely around his waist. "Would it be too much if I send your regards?"

Soujirou sighed. "I guess not.."

Yuki gave a small smile. The bitterness her friend left behind was still fresh in their hearts and minds. But she knew their acceptance of had to happen. It had to be done.

"Okay, I really have to go. I guess I can leave our precious baby safe in your hands for an afternoon?" she teased him, trying to lighten the situation.

"Of course! You forget – this is Nishikado Soujirou, Daddy Extraordinaire!" He puffed out his chest comically, taking her lead.

And laughing, Yuki gave him a kiss.

*****

_At the airport..._

Yuki was sitting down at the reception room of the Hanazawa private hangar.

She can't believe how far they have come. Even now she still can't believe that she's married to Jiro, and that they have a little daughter. For a time, she'd thought the love she had for him was hopeless, and she did her best to have a life without him in it. Thankfully though, he realized his love for her and now, she can't magine her world without him.

She sighed. Her friend's situation is a different matter. It's a lot more complex. Even she doesn't know the whole of it. But they've been friends for so long that she can accept not knowing for now. And she hopes that by coming home she can attain some measure of the peace and happiness she now had with Jiro and Kiara.

Her mind flashed back to two weeks ago... She'd just given birth to baby Kiara, and had just arrived home from the hospital when her cellphone rang.

_Caller Unknown... Caller Unknown..._

Yuki wrinkled her forehead, but answered it anyway... "Moshi, moshi?"

"Hello... May I please speak to Yuki Nishikado?" A hesitant female voice sounded over the line.

Hearing that voice, Yuki sat down by the side of the bed slowly. She remembered Soujirou looking up from cooing over Kiara to look over at the shell shocked expression on her face.

"Tsukushi?"

Yuki's mind was so engrossed on that conversation, she didn't hear the soft footsteps coming toward her until they were within her line of sight.

Looking up, she saw her friend still had the same old chocolate brown eyes, but there was something behind them now – something she can't quite put her finger on... Whatever it was, it added more poise and maturity to that dear and long unseen face.

The two friends stared at each other for so long, both forgot about the third person present in their meeting. Yuki broke eye contact when the child in Tsukushi's arms stirred, and with blinking eyes, raised his head and looked straight at her.

*****

Hope you liked the first chapter... I was initially planning on having Tsukushi not meet up with anyone from the past but I figured she'll need all the moral support she can get at this point! Please R &R :)


	3. Chapter 2: THE PAST AND THE PRESENT

**Chapter 2: THE PAST AND THE PRESENT**

Yuki gasped when she saw the toddler in Tsukushi's arms. She tried to hide it but her eyes were wide with amazement. He looked so much like his father it was uncanny. His hair, though, was a warm chocolate brown – like his mother's.

Tsukushi gave a small smile when she saw Yuki's surprise. She had to get used to people's shock upon seeing her son. To anyone who has met his father, it would be like a blast from the past. She imagined that he looked exactly like him at his age.

She smoothed her son's rumpled hair, and said, "Yoshi, this is your Auntie Yuki. Auntie Yuki, this is Yoshi." She looked down on him as she introduced them.

Her son just blinked owlishly at his honorary Aunt and gave a huge yawn, trying to snuggle deeper into his mother's neck.

"Sorry he's not more friendly, he's usually shy in the beginning with strangers." Tsukushi explained as they started walking towards the entrance. A discreet bodyguard followed closely behind. She hated traveling with an entourage so she'd asked Yoshi's nanny and the rest of her household to travel on ahead of them to prepare the condo for their arrival.

"That's all right. I would be shy too, if I woke up and saw myself in a strange place, meeting strange people", Yuki said gently with a smile.

They walked the rest of the way in silence.

Yuki didn't know how to broach the subject of her return to Tsukushi. She was in turmoil. She loved her friend – after all, they grew up and had such history together, but at the same time, she had a lot of unanswered questions raging in her head. She didn't realize how much she was fidgeting in her seat.

Tsukushi, who had put Yoshi in his carseat for the ride, put her hand in Yuki's restless ones, stilling them.

"You look really good, Yuki. You're blooming. Motherhood becomes you. And it's good Soujirou proved to be a better husband to you than I'd thought." The two women shared a smile.

"Thank you for meeting me at the airport... Like I mentioned over the phone, I know that I have no right to ask this of you, but I just wanted the first face I see to be a friendly one." She took a deep breath and continued, "I imagine you have a lot of questions for me, but I hope you understand that I'd like to ask you to wait until tonight. I don't want to come between you and your husband any more than I already have."

"Uhm, it's okay, Tsukushi... I understand. You've always been there for me. It's time I do the same to you."

"Thanks, Yuki... I owe you a big one for this."

"You don't have to meet everyone tonight. Aren't you tired from your trip?"

"In some ways, I'm so tired that all I want to do is rest and sleep. But I know that it's not possible. I've cried so hard this past year that I don't think there's any tears left... This is something I have to do. I promised him that I'd do this. That I'd explain. Not just for me, but for him. There isn't much time left, and I'd like to face this and get it over with as soon as possible..."

"Hmmm... I was afraid that you'd changed. But in a way, you're still the same brave Tsukushi I remember", Yuki said as the two women shared a smile.

_*****_

_That evening..._

Mimasaka Akira and his girlfriend were sitting in the car holding hands. They were on their way to see one of their oldest friends. An old friend who had seemed to drop off the face of the earth almost 5 years ago.

Akira sighed, closing his eyes. Hanazawa Tsukushi nee Makino had been a great factor in all their lives at one point. The only one to challenge the F4's dominance at school, and the only one to tell them what she thought of them to their faces, they came to respect her and to respect her hardworking ways. She taught them about a different kind of life, and that no matter how different someone seems to be from you in the beginning, inside – where it counts, you're all the same. He too, had been affected by her sudden disappearance from their lives. Not only did they have to deal with how bereft they'd all felt, they'd been left to deal with the temper of one Domyouji Tsukasa, who was uncontrollable after he'd regained his memory and learned about Tsukushi's vanishment.

"Are you all right?" she asked him gently, rubbing her thumb across his knuckles in a soothing manner.

"Hmm? Yes I'm fine. Just thinking", he tried to reassure her.

She nodded, and left him back to his own thoughts. Memories were whirling around in her head too. She wasn't sure what will be accomplished by this gathering tonight. Though she's sure of one thing, their presence there is two-fold: to hear what Tsukushi had to say, and to help with damage control – what with Soujirou being there, they'd have to help Yuki diffuse the situation. He always was a hothead – having Yuki, and now Kiara, in his life had mellowed him somewhat, but once he lets go of his temper, he can rival even Tsukasa with the chaos he leaves in his wake.

But mostly she is concerned for Akira. He was more troubled about what had happened in the past 5 years than he lets on. He wasn't exactly mad at Tsukushi for disappearing but he was disappointed in her. They'd all felt abandoned by her, after all, she'd left with no explanation, no word as to how she could be reached. If it were not for Rui finding her and letting them know (at least in the beginning), they wouldn't even have known where she was and how she was doing.

She herself had felt betrayed. But one positive thing that overrides anything else that had happened, in her opinion, was that she'd gotten Akira in the process. If things had not happened the way they had, she and Akira might never have found one another.

"We're here."

They walked out of the car, and strode, hand in hand towards the imposing structure. It was a gracefully high building. Unlike traditional buildings who were boringly rigid and rectangular, this new structure looked like it was twirling in mid-air, such that the lower floors formed a thicker diameter and had more rooms than the floors above it. It was an architectural feat which was raved about in all the news magazines. Apparently, it had been something that Hanazawa Industries were working on for some time, and was a symbol of the new direction the company will be taking in the future with Rui and Tsukushi at the helm.

The couple walked the rest of the way at a sedate pace. Even if they were uncertain about what the outcome of this excursion will be, they were happy just being together.

"I wonder who else is coming tonight", Akira mused out loud as they reached the simple dark cappuccino door of the penthouse suite. Unlike other buildings that had two or more penthouse units at the top floor, this building had only one. He pressed on the doorbell.

His companion shrugged, "other than Yuki-chan and Soujirou-san, I have no idea who else could have been invited... Did you hear from Tsukasa?"

"Nope. I haven't spoken to him since he left on his business trip a couple of months ago. I don't know if he even knows she's back", he said in a tone filled with foreboding, as the door opened.

*****

Hihihi, couldn't resist putting another cliffhanger... Please don't shoot me! :) I'm trying to build up the suspense of the confrontation that is to come. What really happened to Tsukushi (and Rui)? Stay tuned...


	4. Chapter 3: THE TRUTH WILL OUT

_Serenity: Hmm, you're 90% right! :) Thank you for the review! I'm so encouraged to write when I see people reading my work... For the other 10%, read on... ;)_

*****

**Chapter 3: TRUTH WILL OUT**

Akira and Shigeru let out a collective sigh of relief when it was not Tsukushi who opened the door. They were not exactly as relaxed as they pretended about the coming encounter. Instead, it was a middle-aged American woman with salt and pepper hair. She wore a disapproving expression, as if she resented the necessity of their presence in her mistress' life. Yet, she asked, "May I know who is calling?"

"Mimasaka Akira and Okawahara Shigeru. Tsukushi is expecting us", Akira said, resorting to formality in response to her icy tone.

"Please come in. The others are already in the dining room. Madame will be joining you shortly, she is just finishing up an urgent matter." She gestured towards the first door on the right, where they could see silhouettes through the glazed glass which formed the walls of the penthouse.

The couple immediately preceded her into the large open foyer of the penthouse. There was an urgency in their steps that wasn't there before. The penthouse was elegantly and brightly lit, with some kind of music playing in the background. Yet despite this, now that they were there, they felt the seriousness and uncertainty of the situation. Perhaps the sparse décor only increased their agitation. Shigeru clutched Akira's hand more firmly in hers.

They proceeded into the dining room and saw Yuki and Soujirou speaking to each other in hushed tones. Food was laid out on the table before them, but they weren't eating. It seemed that Yuki was already cautioning Soujirou about his temper. This did not bode well for all of them... Not just for this night's meeting, but for the rest of the days which may last for however long Tsukushi intended to stay in Tokyo.

"Yo", Akira greeted, taking the seat directly across from Soujirou and pulling the seat next to him for Shigeru. The couple looked up.

"Hey", Yuki's greeting was serious.

"How is Kiara-chan?" Shigeru asked Yuki with a bright smile. "Does she sleep through the night yet?" She was fascinated with babies, more so lately, when Yuki gave birth and when she started hanging out more with Akira's twin sisters.

Yuki chuckled. "Not yet. I can't wait for that time to come though! I feel like I haven't been able to sleep more than two hours each night."

"Yeah, but I bet you're loving every minute of it," Akira teased.

It was a brilliant strategy. If there was anything that could lift Soujirou's dark mood, it was mentioning his little daughter. He smiled.

But then, his face darkened again in an instant. "I would be loving even more minutes with her, if we didn't have to be here."

"Jiro.." Yuki admonished him.

"Yuki-chan, I know she's your bestfriend, but don't tell me you yourself aren't harboring any ill feeling toward her for leaving us all high and dry five years ago!"

Yuki was silent. It was true, after all. She loved Tsukushi, but she was also wary of whatever turmoil her presence will cause in their now peaceful lives. And there had been many points in the past where she'd needed her bestfriend's strength with her.

"And you, Shigeru, she was one of your closest friends! You even gave up Tsukasa for her and that was how she showed her gratitude??? I don't know what she hopes to accomplish by coming here now. As far as I'm concerned, she took herself away from us, and she took Rui away from us too! She left Akira and I to just deal with the pieces she left behind and now what does she hope to accomplish with this? Who'll clean up her mess again? I'm sick of it! Plus, don't you think there's someone important missing in this little gathering? More than any one of us, it's Tsukasa she has to explain her reasons to! After all, it was his life she destroyed." Soujirou was almost shouting now.

"Soujirou -" Akira started to speak.

Nobody else at the table spoke. After all, he was just voicing out their own thoughts and feelings. What had happened to Tsukasa when he'd realized the truth – when he regained his memories and realized that he'd lost not only his love but his bestfriend, was still not something they were all comfortable discussing. It was hard for them to think of how he once was, all they know is the broken man he had become. An empty shell who lived and breathed his work. Any show of temper would have been welcome, but even that was beyond him now. He was a robot.

"She ruined us. Seventeen years of friendship, gone. Destroyed by a girl who suddenly got it into her head that doing a vanishing act could somehow be good for those she left behind! If she hadn't gone, Rui wouldn't have -" He couldn't say the words, almost choking as he struggled to control the tears that were threatening to come to the surface.

"Say it, Nishikado." A quiet, pained voice suddenly came from the doorway. Their heads whipped to look, Soujirou a bit shame-faced at having been caught in the middle of his tirade.

It was Tsukushi. Even though she was only clad in an oversized white shirt buttoned to the neck she had a new poise, a quiet dignity, and more control over her temper than she used to. She strode into the room.

Despite being shorter than Soujirou, she gripped his lapels and forced him to meet her eyes at their level. "Say it!", she shook him. "If I hadn't gone, what? Rui wouldn't have died??? How dare you! You have no right!" She let go of him, her voice quivering with the tears she refused to shed.

"I called you all here to explain my side – our side of the story. If you think it was easy to keep away, it wasn't. We missed all of you, but it was best for everyone if we stayed away and that's what we did. It's not easy for me to come back either. Knowing I'd have to face everyone and their disappointments. Knowing I have to give you all some measure of peace, when I don't even have that for myself " Tsukushi said in a voice so low, she was almost whispering. She let go of Soujirou's shirt in defeat.

"Before he died, Rui asked me to come and face all of you. He asked me to let you all know the truth. He loved you all, but he felt he had to stand by me. At first, I was against it. I asked him to go back and to stay away from me, but he wouldn't. He sacrificed his life here for me. And though I felt guilty about it, I needed him. He was my saving grace", Tsukushi continued, her expression a little blank as her mind went back to the things she'd endured.

"You could have called. You could have told us you needed help, and we'd have all come. We're your friends – how could you be so selfish? You wouldn't share your problems with us and you just decided on your own to leave??" Shigeru burst out. She couldn't know what had happened to make her friend turn tail and run, but to her, it must have been serious - enough for her to cut yourself off from her friends, and especially her family, they all knew how devoted she was to them.

"Do you think it was easy for me? For us? It wasn't... It wasn't..." Tsukushi sat down wearily. "There were moments when I wanted to die, and I almost did, but Rui saved me... Yet in the end, when he was so sick, I couldn't save him..." Her voice trailed off. "Will you please hear me out now?"

Her four guests sat down one by one in silent acquiescence to her request. They could see how defeated she was. Five years worth of ill feeling would be hard to erase in just one night. Yet, they couldn't not grant her plea, she was, after all, their friend. And to them, the events of the past they shared was something. It wasn't everything, but it was – _something_. They also couldn't help but compare the way she looked now to the teenaged girl they knew. She was like the Tsukushi of old, but at the same time, she was different. She was frailer somehow, they couldn't quite see with the baggy clothes she was wearing, but she seemed to be thinner if that were at all possible. She had bags under her eyes and her cheeks looked gaunt. She also looked pale – as if she hadn't seen the sun in a long time.

"I decided to leave, it's true." Tsukushi looked off into the distance, letting the past wrap itself around her and transport her back...

"Something happened between me and Domyouji, and I was so happy. We'd finally decided to be together, and even though I didn't want him to throw his future away for me, in the end, I agreed to his decision. I wanted so badly to be with him, and we'd fought to be together for so long that we couldn't help but give in to the freedom our decision brought. We could finally announce our love and show it to the whole world." Tsukushi rubbed her arms as if warming away the chill. Soujirou, Akira, Yuki and Shigeru just looked at her, transfixed by her story, and encouraging her without words to go on.

"But then, he was stabbed, and our whole world came crashing down again... I wasn't sure if I had the energy left to fight back when I realized he forgot about me, and only me... Yet, I did. I tried to make him remember, but he couldn't. Or he wouldn't. The last straw was when I made him a bento and he didn't realize I'd made it. Sure, Umi claimed it was hers; but I guess I'd hoped that he'd somehow, in some way, remember me.. When I saw them together in his room, I think my heart finally broke, and I gave him back the necklace he gave me." She smiled wryly. "I remember him looking shocked by that gesture, but I didn't really stay to find out. I ran as fast as I could. Out of his house, and out of his life."

"I left to go back to stay with my family. I had a secret, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it. Everyone would have been horrified if they'd found out." She looked straight into their eyes.

"I was pregnant."

*****

Whew! Don't know if I can keep up with the cliffhangers! LOL I hope everything was clear... Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm able to express all the words clamoring in my head. But I hope you still like it. Hopefully the confusion everyone is feeling came across. On one hand, sentiment and friendship; on the other, resentment and betrayal.


	5. Chapter 4: TSUKASA

_Thank you for all the reviews and nice comments :) I hope I can keep up with the pace of this story! It's starting to have a life of its own and it ends up being different than what I envision when I first start typing :)_

_diana: I'll answer your question in the next chapters... I'm just not sure if it's gonna be the one succeeding this one or the one after that.. But I hope I'll be able to answer it more clearly before the story ends :)_

_bosk: The answer to your first question is no. She left before Tsukasa regained his memories. Her friends feel betrayed for themselves, and because they had to watch what happened to Tsukasa when she left. They probably feel like he could be leading a different life if she'd stayed with him, especially considering how much she'd already changed him when he fell in love with her. Knowing what her motivation was now, they understand her a bit better, but still, why ignore them too?_

_I'm sorry if I'm not answering the questions right, I don't want to give too much away. I hope you understand :)_

*****

**Chapter 4: TSUKASA**

Soujirou stood up upon Tsukushi's revelation, his chair moving backward a couple of feet, the scraping noise overriding Akira's startled "What??" Three faces of almost identical shock and horrified expressions looked back at her.

Yuki's face was troubled and worried. The words were out, there was no turning back now... She remembered Tsukushi's plea when she first called her on the phone and told her she had a baby, asking her to keep the fact a secret from Soujirou, in order to give her a chance to tell him and their other friends herself. She'd imagined her face mirroring everything she'd felt at that moment – shock, enlightenment, worry.. But at the same time, as a new mother, she could partially understand Tsukushi's motivations for fleeing the way she did. When she first learned of her pregnancy, she was filled with joy, but at the same time, she was worried about the risks (to her, to the baby), despairing about her abilities as a mother, confusion about the choices she'll have to make – after all, once you've grown a life, you have to be responsible for nurturing it. Once you're a mom, your entire focus shifts even more. You can sacrifice almost anything for your child. You feel an assortment of emotions – anxiety, love, worry, etc. all mixed together. Add all the ingredients of Tsukasa and Tsukushi's soap-operaesque relationship, and it is quite a volatile mix. She herself wouldn't know how to handle such a situation.

"Madame", a voice hesitantly interrupted the conversation before any more questions could be asked. It was the middle aged woman who answered the door. "He's asking for you.."

"Oh", Tsukushi said in understanding. This must be a regular occurrence because she stood up quickly and told them, "I'm sorry, I'll be right back." She rushed out of the room.

Akira, Shigeru and Soujirou looked at each other, their new knowledge making their eyes glow with a new light. But the implications were staggering...

"Yuki, did you know about this?" Soujirou demanded looking at her.

"I knew she had a baby; but no, I didn't know the whole time. She only told me two weeks ago", she admitted biting her lip.

"What do we now and how do we tell Tsukasa???" Akira asked with a worried face.

"I don't think it's our place to tell him anything", Shigeru interjected.

"Don't you meddle with this, Akira. Not unless Tsukushi asks us to. We don't even know what she needs from us exactly", Soujirou said at the same time – he didn't know how he was supposed to react.

"For that matter, do we even know where Tsukasa is now?" At that, everyone lapsed into silence.

*****

Tsukasa was alone. He was always alone. For the past few years, that's the way he's been, and there is no sign which indicates any change in this status any time soon.

At the same moment of Tsukushi's revelation, Tsukasa was thinking of them. Of Tsukushi. Of Rui. Of the past. He couldn't help it. He wasn't planning on coming here, but he took this pilgrimage to purge him of his memories. Insane memories. Memories he had no right to think about and wish for... Not anymore.

Tsukasa put his hands in his pockets, crumpling the paper he'd been holding. There was a slight chill in the air but he seemed to notice none of it as he allowed the cool breeze to sweep his face and rumple his unruly locks. His face was still handsome, still distinguished, but it looked haggard. The fire in his eyes was gone now. Extinguished.

Even the dark unholy glint he used to have when he pummeled and beat up on the people who annoyed him, was absent now. Lately, he couldn't even summon the strength to feel that kind of anger. It was usually better to just feel nothing. Go through the motions and work 'til he was exhausted, sleep deep but troubled dreams and wake up to do it all over again.

And yet, he wonders what he's doing here. For the past 5 years he'd been running away. From his memories, his emotions, and everything that could resurrect those two things in him. It was ironic to think that he lost his memory when he'd finally achieved the happiness he'd fought for for so long, but that now, when he'd give anything to forget – all he can do is remember.

_His finger lightly tracing her beautiful features, as she looked at him with anticipation. They were about to take the next step, and he was awash with happiness. He knew she was not the kind of girl who would give something like this lightly...His mouth covered hers as he gathered her to him..."I love you, Tsukushi..." _

_The hurt in her eyes when they found out he had amnesia, and that he had forgotten... She'd tried to hide them, but he'd seen, and he'd wondered why this girl could feel such a thing for him. The determination on her face as she'd reenacted each significant moment in their courtship.._

_Her misery and despair when she'd had enough and she'd thrown the Saturn necklace at him. There had been something familiar about her then. Her tear-stricken face had disturbed him for a long time after that, the Saturn necklace always nestled in his palm._

_The moment when he'd realized that he'd regained his memories, and he'd looked at all the faces gathered around his bedside... Onee-chan, Akira, Soujirou, Shigeru, Sakurako, Tama-san, Nishida-san... And knowing that there was someone missing. The most important one. His rage at her absence shook even those who've known him for so long. He knew it was his fault she'd gone. He'd hurt her, perhaps for the last time._

"I hope she was happy. I hope you were happy..." he whispered. The loneliness washed over him once more. He didn't deserve to find happiness, after all he'd done to her and all he hadn't done. He deserved to be alone.

"I had asked that she be given up once, and I knew how useless it would be to do so again. My pride wouldn't allow me to go after her, so it's my fault. You were the better man for thinking of her and what she needs. I understand... I don't deserve her love or your friendship." He crouched and looked off into the distant horizon.

"For what it's worth though, I miss you, Rui" Tsukasa allowed a single tear to fall down his cheek, then he immediately wiped it away with his fist. He straightened up, the crumpled piece of paper still in his hand.

It was time to go back to Tokyo.

*****

_Hope you guys like the story thus far! I hope to be able to update soon, but I might have to stop here (unless I can write the next chappie tomorrow), we are going away for the weekend and I won't be back till Tuesday :( Might suffer from HYD withdrawal, but white sands and ocean breeze, here I come!_

_Anyway, I wanted to show how and where Tsukasa was. I was trying to show a hint of his mindset but at the same time reserve some for his imminent confrontation with Tsukushi. Hopefully it's a good way for me to introduce his entrance back into the main happenings of the story._

_When will he meet up with Tsukushi??? Will their friends say something to him when he gets back?? Stay tuned...;)_


	6. Chapter 5: THE MEETING

_Hi, everyone! I'm baaccckk! Thank you for everyone who made comments and reviews :) I hope I'll be able to continue with this and end it to everyone's satisfaction :)_

*****

**CHAPTER 5: THE MEETING**

"Do you believe her, Jiro-kun?" Yuki asked her husband, as they moved the quilt in preparation for bed. They were trying to speak quietly, as Kiara was sound asleep on her crib beside their bed, having just drank her ration of milk for the night.

"I have no choice but to believe her. I doubt she has that much imagination," Soujirou said sardonically, still not completely won over by the night's events. He recalled Tsukushi's words...

"_I left because of the shame of my situation. With the father having no memory of me and denouncing my very place in his life, I felt I had no choice but to leave. I would not subject my child to the same kind of rejection... If he remembers any time soon, then he can just come and find me. If he doesn't, then he would not be missing anything, would he?" She looked around them as she started telling her story once again, a faintly sarcastic expression on her face._

"_I told my family about my situation. They wanted to take advantage of my pregnancy to get some money out of Domyouji's family, and I wouldn't let them. We argued, and I left." Tsukushi's lips tightened. There had to be more to this part of the story than she was telling, but she didn't add more._

_She continued, "Rui found me when I was eight months pregnant. He was shocked when he saw the state I was in. Tsukasa had not recovered his memories yet, and going back was out of the question. He proposed marriage, but I only agreed to it a few months after I gave birth..."_

"_Why didn't you let us know what happened? When Rui gave word that he'd found you, that must have been before he knew you were pregnant", Akira interrupted, trying to make sense of the sequence of events that happened._

"_Yes. I asked him not to tell you more. I couldn't ask you all to be burdened by my problems. It was MY problem, I had to be the one to bear it."_

"_You should have told us, Tsukushi! They say 'a problem shared is a problem halved', we might have been able to help – to be there for you..." Shigeru burst out._

"_No", Tsukushi shook her head. "I wanted you here with Tsukasa. He needed you more than I did."_

"You know, she's been my friend for a long time.. She keeps a lot of things to herself just as she tries to solve her own problems. It could not have been easy for her to come back and unload herself on us. It has been five years, but I doubt she'll have changed all that much," Yuki told him thoughtfully, finger pressed to her chin.

"I know that. And we will help her. Much as it pains me to admit, but I do admire her guts for coming back. Part of me even understands the reasons why she left. I just think her reason for not telling us is flawed, we COULD have helped not just now, but then too. Though Tsukasa had amnesia, there would have been a way for us to let him know", Soujirou frowned, still mulling over the conversation that had taken place.

"_Rui convinced me to marry him. Until now, I still don't know how he managed that feat", Tsukushi gave a little smile of remembrance. "But I saw how he was with Yoshi and I agreed to it. I had no plans of going back to Tokyo, however, the risk for Yoshi was too great. He wanted to stay with me, and maybe I did need someone, so I let him..We kept Yoshi's existence a secret. There was some speculation in the business magazines about the future heir of Hanazawa Industries, but since the company was just a baby in the States, no one paid much attention to it._

_When we found out about the cancer, we were devastated. But we immediately started making plans, Rui more so than I. Plans for me, plans for Yoshi, plans for the life we will lead once he's gone... We'd always agreed to go back one day and explain, we just wasn't sure when..." Tsukushi looked off into the distance, remembering._

_Yuki asked then, "why didn't you both let anyone know? We could have been there for you. It wasn't right for us to know that late." She squeezed Jiro's hand, asking the question he'd been bursting to know the answer to since learning Tsukushi was coming back._

"_He didn't want anyone to know. He didn't want his friends to see him like that. He wanted all of you to remember him the way he was..." Tsukushi explained softly, Soujirou and Akira looked down on their laps at her words. She took a deep breath and continued._

"_When the pain got worse and he had to stay at the hospital, he asked me to promise that I'd come and face everyone. He made me realize that no matter how strong a weed can be, it's still just nothing if flowers aren't surrounding it."_

"The past is done. All we can do is help her with the future", Yuki said finally, lying down and pressing herself to Soujirou's side, her right hand nestled in his chest. And with that, the two fell asleep.

_Meanwhile..._

"I still think that Tsukasa ought to be warned about this," Akira insisted, as he and Shigeru rode back on the limo on their way home. "He shouldn't just be blindsided about news this big."

"Akira-kun, it's not right to meddle in this kind of affair. We have to give Tsukushi the chance to explain everything to him, it's not our place to tell him Tsukushi's story," Shigeru countered.

"I'm not saying that we should tell him that piece of news. I just think we should tell him that she's back. That much he has a right to know. Maybe this will bring him back to life again, and force him to crawl out of that cave he calls his office."

Shigeru was silenced. Akira had a point. True, Tsukasa did not even try to find Tsukushi after he learned she ran away even though they knew where she was by then, he'd been enraged – thinking that since she left, she should be the one to come back. But things had not happened the way he'd expected. Tsukushi got married to Rui of all people. When Tsukasa learned about that, he'd withdrawn unto himself and turned away everyone who tried to help him.

"I still think we should let this play out. All we can do is be there for Tsukasa, Tsukushi and Yoshi. No more, no less", she said in warning to Akira, giving him a look telling him to let the subject drop.

Akira did.


	7. Chapter 6: YOSHI

**Chapter 6: YOSHI**

"Mama! Mama! Wek up! Wek up!" A voice shouted, interrupting Tsukushi's sleep. She felt a weight join her on the bed, waking her up with a continuous bouncing on the mattress. As if this wasn't enough, she felt something pounding on her back. Her son's energy was boundless after a good night's sleep.

"Hi, baby", Tsukushi grabbed her son and sat up, nuzzling his neck.

"I not a beby anymore, Mama. I a big boy now," he said proudly, wriggling away from her grasp.

"Yes, you're a big boy", she agreed with him, nodding to put an emphasis on her words, sneaking him a kiss on the cheek.

Yoshi jumped off the bed and ran to the doorway where Mrs. Noogan, his nanny and their housekeeper stood with a tray in her hands.

"Mama, look at! Look at what I maked you!" Yoshi started tugging on Mrs. Noogan's skirt, trying to drag her more quickly into the room. He was still in his pajamas, and he had his teddy bear clutched in one arm. It was this that he used to wake his mother up every morning.

"Wow, it smells yummy, Yoshi! What is it?" Tsukushi asked, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.

"Pancakes! Me and Mrs. Nukan maked it. I mixed it all by myself!" He puffed out his little chest, climbing back onto the bed as Mrs. Noogan laid the tray on the breakfast table.

"Yes, and you did such a good job, too!" Mrs. Noogan praised him, ruffling his hair. Yoshi preened at the praise. Mrs. Noogan left the room after sharing a small smile with Tsukushi.

Tsukushi looked down at the breakfast Yoshi had "made" her. There were three pancakes, each with little bite-sized marks all around it, an apple with one bite taken out of it, orange juice, and a small vase with a daisy which looked worn and crushed – probably from Yoshi's fist. Tsukushi gave a laugh as she saw the breakfast that was laid out in front of her.

"Hmm, looks like someone decided to eat my breakfast before me", she said teasingly in accusation, looking at her son. He had pancake crumbs and maple syrup all over his cheeks.

"Toyo did it, Mama! He was hungry!", he denied, grabbing his teddy bear with two hands and showing him to her.

Tsukushi laughed as she saw that the teddy bear also had crumbs and syrup all over his now matted fur.

*****

Tsukushi and Yoshi were running late. After eating breakfast, taking a shower, and making sure Yoshi was also dressed and presentable, it was already ten o'clock. Yoshi's pre-school entrance test appointment was at ten thirty!

Unfortunately, luck wasn't on their side today. The traffic was horrendous! Finally, with five minutes to spare and two more blocks to get to the school, Tsukushi hurriedly said, "I'll just meet you there, James. We'll get off here. Thanks!"

"But, Madame -", the chauffeur started to say.

Tsukushi grabbed Yoshi and carried him, running the rest of the two blocks to the school.

Five minutes later, she and Yoshi were standing in front of the admissions office. Tsukushi put her hands on Yoshi's shoulders.

"You'll be okay. Just answer the questions they give you and you'll do a great job", she looked him in the eye and gave him a big smile of reassurance.

"Otay, Mama", he looked like he wanted to cry, but he pursed his lips in determination.

"Leave Toyo with me. I'll take good care of him."

"But, but... He's goin' to pweschool too. He needs to take the test, Mama", Yoshi protested loudly, hugging his teddy bear close to him.

"We'll check to see if it's okay, first. Okay?"

Yoshi nodded, sniffling a little.

The admissions officer said it would be okay, which was lucky indeed. Otherwise, who knew what Yoshi would do. He'd never been in this kind of situation before, Tsukushi thought.

They weren't in Eitoku. Regardless of it being her and Rui's alumni, she'd been firm in deciding she did not want her child staying in that kind of superficial environment. She remembered Rui's concession to her decision, _"I will bow to your superior maternal instincts Tsukushi-chan." _He'd even actually bowed to her with two arms raised in front of him! The memory of it made her laugh.

_Oh, Rui... I wish you were with me, _Tsukushi thought while waiting for Yoshi's test to be over. _I never thought I'd learn to depend on someone that much... Of course, in the end, he helped me stand on my own two feet and to learn to trust my own abilities again; otherwise, I doubt I'll have survived his death. _Tsukushi shook her head. Enough of this melancholy attitude. She has to be strong for her son and for herself. The stakes are a lot higher this time around. She knew Rui would always be beside her, and with his strength doubling her own, she can do this.

"Mrs. Hanazawa, the test is over. Would you please come in? We'd like to talk to you about Yoshi's test results", the sudden opening of the door startled Tsukushi out of her musings, as she looked at the kindly woman standing in front of her. She had ash blond hair and brown eyes, and despite being dressed formally, almost primly, in a Peter Pan-collared shirt and skirt, her smile was kind. Even her eyes were smiling.

"All right. Yoshi, will you be okay here?" Tsukushi turned to her son.

"Yes, Mama. I got Toyo". Tsukushi watched to make sure that Yoshi was sitting on the bench before she followed the administrator into her office.

After exchanging a few pleasantries, the woman introduced herself formally to Tsukushi, "Mrs. Hanazawa, my name is Ms. Gertrude Cary Holmes. I'm the admissions officer here at Tokyo International School."

Tsukushi nodded to acknowledge this.

"According to his test results, Yoshi is an extremely intelligent little boy. He has great potential. He was a bit wary with me in the beginning, but what little boy isn't shy with strangers? He warmed up after a couple of minutes and started telling me all about his airplane ride on the way over here. From his answers to my questions, he also exhibited some potential for leadership. Perhaps this can be harnessed if you choose this school for your son.

However, I only have two concerns. Nothing major", she assured. "Yoshi seems to have an attachment to his teddy bear. I allowed it for the testing session to help put him at ease, but I'm afraid he will be teased by the other kids if he brings the bear to school."

Tsukushi said hesitantly, "His Daddy gave him that teddy bear. He's had it since he was a baby. It used to belong to his Daddy when he was young. I'm not sure if Yoshi said anything but his Daddy died recently and it's been hard on him. To someone who knows him well, we could see that he began clinging to his teddy bear and to me even more after... after, what happened."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that, I understand... Perhaps it may not be beneficial to take the bear abruptly, but maybe we can work together to gently ease him away from the bear. Only when he's ready. We will just be alert if any untoward incidents happen here." Ms. Holmes said in understanding.

"Also, I see that he was born in the States. Did you also speak Japanese to him at home?"

"Yes, his Daddy and I made it a point to always speak to him in Japanese. His nanny knew few Japanese words in the beginning but she gradually became more fluent as the years passed. We always intended to bring Yoshi back here. But of course, outside of our home, the language he was most exposed to was English" Tsukushi answered, knowing in advance what the woman was going to say.

"I understand. The reason I'm saying this is because, I'm sure you've noticed, Yoshi tends to mix up some of his English words with Japanese words and vice versa. He thinks it is quite natural, but again, he might be teased by the other students."

Tsukushi almost laughed at this. She had noticed, but always thought it was something he'd outgrow. But then, knowing his origins, is it any wonder he gets words mixed up?

"I am hoping he will outgrow it once he is more exposed to only one language." She murmured to Ms. Holmes.

"Yes. It is always a plus if a child is bilingual. We will just focus on this area so that he can sort out which words are English and which are Japanese in his mind." Ms. Holmes said. "With that said, I'd like to welcome your son into this school, should you choose to enrol him here for the school year."

"Thank you very much. I will let you know what the decision will be." Tsukushi stood up then and shook the woman's hand. She would have bowed but since this woman was a Westerner, taking her leave in a Western way seemed more appropriate.

Tsukushi left the office, and gently closed the door behind her. She looked at the bench where she left Yoshi. He wasn't there! She looked around her.

_Don't panic. I'm sure he just wandered and explored by himself_, Tsukushi told herself. _Nobody knows who he is yet, nothing could have happened. _With her heart beating, Tsukushi strode into the hallways. No Yoshi. _This school is like a maze, it's so big. I'll need a map to figure out my way around_. She thought almost hysterically.

"Yoshi! Yoshi!", she yelled out. "Have you seen a little boy about this high?" She put her hand to the level of her thigh as she asked a janitor who was mopping up the floor. He shook his head and continued mopping the floor.

_Where could he have gone?_ Tsukushi was getting nervous. Yoshi was an adventurous little boy. His curiosity became tempered when Rui died, but if he feels comfortable in his surroundings, he would revert to the bold and fearless little boy he once was.

She stopped in front of a bulletin board which seemed to have a map of the school tacked on it. She tried to orient herself with the hallways and walkways. Suddenly, she saw a spot on the map that she knew Yoshi would have gone. It was a playground, and it was right outside the office where he had his test. If he stood on the bench, he'd have seen it. She decided to go there next.

_Please be there. Please be there. _She thought to herself. By this time, Tsukushi was sweating.

_There he is! _She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. He was on the see saw, playing with a little girl who looked slightly older. Somebody was providing weight on the other side so that both he and the little girl who was with him let out squeals of delight as they went up and down.

"Yoshi! There you are!" Tsukushi called out, stopping at the edge of the playground. There was a sandbox between her and the seesaw where Yoshi was.

"Mama! Mama!" Yoshi waved at her enthusiastically, his left arm clutching the handlebar of the seesaw. His teddy bear forgotten on the ground.

Tsukushi looked at her son, and then saw the bear. Her mouth fell open. Yoshi had not let that bear out of his arms since Rui left them.

"Hello, Tsukushi." A faintly husky voice called out her name.

She looked up and her eyes went wide with shock.

"Tsukasa, what are you doing here?"

*****

_**A/N:** Finally! Tsukushi and Tsukasa meet... Who is the little girl? Is she Tsukasa's daughter? What will Tsukasa say to Tsukushi???_

_**Disclaimer: **I haven't said this with the past few chapters but, I do not own HYD, if I did, Tsukasa would not have curly hair ;)_


	8. Chapter 7: COMING CLEAN ALMOST

_Thank you so much for everyone who added my story to their alerts list! I hope I'll be able to justify your faith in it! :)_

*****

**Chapter 7 COMING CLEAN.. ALMOST**

"I could ask you the same thing", Tsukasa declared, his eyes narrowed. He'd slowly eased up on his weight to let the two children down. Yoshi immediately leapt from his perch and ran to Tsukushi crying, "Mama, Mama!". When he reached her, he hugged her legs and hid behind them. He did not like the tone the conversation was starting to take.

"Mama is it? What does that mean??" Tsukasa continued in a barely controlled voice. The little girl was brushing her dress, all the while looking curiously from Tsukasa to Tsukushi.

"What else could it possibly mean, Baka?" Tsukushi retorted pressing Yoshi closer to her. Before Tsukasa could think of a suitable reply, she grabbed Yoshi and walked away quickly, hugging him to her chest. Yoshi started crying, "No, no, no, Mama! Nooo!" His cries slowly faded as they got farther and farther away.

Tsukasa looked on after them. He was thunderstruck. He had been looking for Tsukushi but he didn't expect to find her here of all places. Hell, he didn't even know she had a child. Was the child Rui's? He frowned. There was no mention of any child in Rui's letter. No mention at all... He remembered the day he'd received it, he was about to throw it out thinking that the bastard had written to gloat, when he read the first few lines.

_Tsukasa,_

_I am probably the last person you expect to be writing you like this. I hope you will hear me out._

_Truth is, I am dying. By the time you get this letter, I'll be dead. I'm not scared of dying, so don't be horrified that I'm mentioning this to you so bluntly. I've had some time to think about this, and impending death has provided much clarity in this respect._

_I love you like a brother. You know that... Fate has played a terrible trick on us by making us fall for the same girl... I know you love her, as do I... Don't judge her – us, too harshly. I hope you remember that people leave for a reason. She did not want to leave you, but circumstances dictated otherwise. She had a reason. Ask her what it was... _

_I hope you forgive me for going after her. For going after my own heart... Now I give her back to you and I hope you will go after yours._

_If you love her, find her. Talk to her. Woo her again, and she'll make you the happiest man in the world. You can make everything right this time around. I have faith in you._

_Rui_

Tsukasa felt a tug in his jeans. Slowly he came out of his reverie. That letter from Rui had woken him up. He'd been stuck in a dark haze for the past five years, only going through the motions and pretending to everyone that he was fine when they all knew perfectly well he wasn't. In fact, it was only with his sister, Tsubaki, and his niece and nephew that he reverted to a shade of his former arrogant self.

After reading that letter, he'd marshaled all his forces to go and look for her, all to no avail. Until now.

"Ojisan, Ojisan, that boy forgot his teddy", his niece exclaimed, rushing to the discarded teddy bear, which was lying on the ground.

Tsukasa turned his head and saw the bear. A speculative gleam came into his eye. He now had a reason to go after her.

"Can I keep it?" Akemi asked hugging the bear to her.

"No, you have lots of toys of your own", Tsukasa told her abruptly, as he took the toy from her.

"I'll tell Mama you're being mean to me!"

"You do that." Tsukasa informed her. Sure that in this instance, his sister would back him up. She ran to her nanny. He took out his cellphone and dialed a number he had not called in the past few years, since he'd withdrawn into himself.

"Akira! Meet me at the usual place... What do you mean, 'who's this?' It's Doumyouji, your great and mighty leader!" He listened some more, and shook his head irately. "Just be there. We have something to talk about. Bring Soujirou" He ended the call.

Tsukasa put his hands in his pockets and breathed deeply... Now that he'd found Tsukushi, what should he do? He knew he should be angry, but deep within his heart, there was a sense of exultation, of completion. He felt alive again.

And that boy – there was something familiar about him. He looked the way he had when he was that age... The child couldn't possibly be his, could he?

*****

Tsukushi strode into their home, she had not stopped muttering since they'd left Tsukasa in the playground. Yoshi's cries had faded into sniffles as he fell asleep with his head on her shoulder and his mouth open. She carefully and gently put him down on his bed.

She was appalled at the way she'd acted. She'd been planning their confrontation for months now, since she and Rui had agreed she would go back. She'd rehearsed a dozen scenarios in her head, none of which pictured even a slightest resemblance to what had taken place. In her head, she had been mature, poised and confident. She'd held her composure, and she'd shown him just how much she'd changed over the years – she was a dignified woman, and not the same awkward teenager he'd once known. But _gah_, something about that person triggered the worst in her! She found herself transforming back into the mouthy eighteen year old she'd once been! In her worst imaginings she hadn't expected this! She didn't even act like she was a mother, for crying out loud!

_Speaking of mother, he'd seen Yoshi. _She remembered._ Oh no_. Tsukushi grabbed the hair on both sides of her head as the realization dawned on her. She had not planned on him seeing her son so soon – not until she was sure he was his own man. That he could stand up to his mother. That he had not been corrupted by her.

_What to do, what to do,_ she thought, as she paced the length of the living room back and forth. She'd just have to try to explain again. Properly this time. Oh, but what hope did she have of getting him to listen when things had started out so rocky between them already! And he had Yoshi's beloved teddy bear, Tsukushi gasped. She'd have to get that bear before he woke up or else...

She rushed out of the room to call Yuki.

*****

Akira and Soujirou were staring. They'd been staring for the past few minutes. Since they arrived, in fact. They stared at Tsukasa, who in turn, was mulling over something and staring at the drink he was stirring in his hand.

Finally, the two started nudging each other and whispering. They have never seen Tsukasa act like this... Well, never since Tsukushi left.

He couldn't stop his curiosity any longer, Akira said jolting Tsukasa out of his thoughts. "Yo, man! What's up? What did you call us out for? For a second I thought you'd finally crawled out of your cave!"

Tsukasa looked up at them. "I saw Tsukushi. She's in Tokyo", he informed them.

Akira and Soujirou looked at each other in surprise. He saw her? They weren't expecting that. But then he always had this uncanny ability to be able to find her.

"I met her son, too." His eyes narrowed as he took in their now knowing expressions. "You two know something I don't, don't you?"

"Well, we did see her the other night." Akira admitted.

"What? Damn it to hell, how come you didn't tell me? How could you let me be blinded like that??" Tsukasa demanded of them darkly.

"Just a sec, it's blind_sided_, and where do you get off? We didn't even know when you'd be back. We couldn't contact your cell when you left, how could we tell you anything? Besides, this is the first sign of life you've shown us in a long time, how the hell were we supposed to know how you would react?!" Soujirou interrupted in a loud voice.

"How could you not know? I always react. What are you talking about, man?" Tsukasa denied the past few years angrily. He didn't know how to apologize and he wouldn't, not now. "There are more important things to deal with."

Akira sighed. _Typical Tsukasa_. He certainly hoped he was back and this wasn't just some temporary awakening. Oh well, with everything that just happened and everything that's about to happen, he needed to be awake and alert. At least as long as Tsukushi and Yoshi needed him.

"Well, what do you want to know?" he asked.

"I've met her son. Who is he?" Tsukasa demanded.

Akira and Soujirou were confused by the question. "He's her son. What else are we supposed to know?" the latter asked in return.

"Damn it, don't play games with me! Who's the father?"

"You don't expect us to answer that question, do you? You should go to Tsukushi and ask her. Only she can answer that for you." Akira said in a serious tone.

Tsukasa snorted. "You guys are no help", he grumbled. He dropped some bills on the table and left.

Soujirou looked at Akira in awe. "I can't believe you didn't say anything man. I thought you'd be sticking your meddling head in this one."

Akira shrugged with a rueful expression. "I almost did say something but Shigeru would kick my balls in."

Soujirou laughed at that, she would do it too.

*****

It had started to rain. The weather forecast had not warned of any coming storms, just monsoon rains, but Tsukushi shuddered at the lightning that flashed outside the window. Even the thunder that roared in the distance sounded so close. Mrs. Noogan had taken the day off, hopefully she would come back tomorrow and not force herself to return in this kind of weather.

She let the curtain drop as she turned back into the room.

_Blag, blag, blag._ Three loud knocks suddenly resounded through the penthouse. What could that be? Tsukushi wondered with her hand in her throat. _Blag, blag, blag_. It was the front door. She ran to answer it. Whoever it was was knocking so loudly, she could practically see the door coming off it's hinges. _Blag, blag, blag_. She heard the sound again. She looked at the peephole and gasped. Tsukushi was highly tempted not to answer it but he would wake up Yoshi with his incessant pounding. _Blag, blag, blag_, the noise came even louder now.

She took a deep breath to compose herself. Remember, you are a mature and dignified woman. She was thankful she hadn't changed into her sleeping clothes yet. Her Hello Kitty pajamas might not have the effect she was looking for.

"What the hell are you doing?? Would you please be quiet? People are sleeping", she hissed at him as soon as she had the door open.

"Took you long enough", Tsukasa walked into the room. He was drenched and his clothes were dripping. He'd been walking in the rain, his shoes were soaked and his coat looked bedraggled. With his straight hair though, Yoshi looked more like him than ever.

"You're soaking wet! Baka, you're going to get sick!" Tsukushi shouted as she saw the state he was in. She rushed to help him out of his wet coat.

"Nice to know you're still so concerned about me, Makino" Tsukasa grinned leaning over her.

"What? I'm not concerned. Fine. Stay in your wet clothes and get sick. See if I care!" She whirled away. Her cheeks faintly pink.

Tsukasa sighed as he continued removing his coat.

"How did you get up here anyway? There's only one entrance and it's private!" Tsukushi realized. He wouldn't have been able to go up without her knowing about it and being informed by the doorman downstairs.

"That little twerp downstairs tried to stop me, but then he realized I had something important of his," Tsukasa said, his eyes twinkling in memory.

"Oh? What ever could that be?" Tsukushi demanded.

"His throat."

*****

_A/N: Whew, long chappie! This is the first time I've tried to put a bit of comedy into the story. Since the next chapter will probably be dealing with serious matters, I thought this would be my last chance to put some humor into this._

_Will Tsukasa and Tsukushi stop procrastinating and talk about Yoshi? Will Tsukasa get the answers he's looking for? How will he react??? _


	9. Chapter 8: CONFESSIONS, PART 1

_Yurirawr: I'm glad you love the story... I wasn't sure if I would put a mature scene in it, but for you, I'll see what I can do :) I'll just change the rating once I've put that part in! _

_Darkbluegirl: Thank you for your reviews and for liking my story. I hope you will continue watching what happens and you like the rest of it just as much! :) _

*****

**Chapter 8: CONFESSIONS (PART ONE)**

Tsukushi had to swallow the sudden chuckle that erupted from her throat. She quickly tried to mask it by putting on a stern expression. She didn't fool Tsukasa though.

"So, aren't you even going to let me sit down, woman?" Tsukasa asked abruptly after a moment. "For that matter, you should lend me a robe. I'm soaked to the bone. If I get sick, let that be on your conscience."

"Oh, ah... wait a minute", she rushed out of the room, a bit thankful for his request. It will buy her a bit more time to compose herself for what she has to say. I'm sure he will want answers to his questions, and truth be told, she just wanted to get this thing over with.

She came back a few minutes later with a robe and towel. She'd given away most of Rui's clothes to the Salvation Army before she left New York and besides she doubted that Tsukasa would want to wear them anyway, temporarily or not.

"Here. You can use this in the meantime. Give me your clothes and I'll put them in the washer," Tsukushi ordered, handing Tsukasa the dry robe and towel. She pointed him to the bathroom.

Tsukasa took them and left, coming back a few minutes later with his wet clothes. Tsukushi told him to make himself comfortable in the couch and said that she'll be back with some hot tea. She rushed out of the room.

Tsukasa was left to his own thoughts. He looked around the living room... Unlike the rooms in the Doumyouji mansion, this room was quietly welcoming. The furniture and décor were expensive yet tasteful. It was spacious and airy, with two of the walls occupied by glass windows partially covered by curtains. Everything was done in shades of yellow and brown, all combined to create a homey and comfortable atmosphere. It was the kind of room you can read in, be yourself in, dream in... He saw some photographs displayed on the window sill and side tables. He walked closer to take a look.

Most of them were pictures of the child. The first looked like they were taken at the hospital when he was first born – there was still some fluid and a bit of blood around him. It grossed Tsukasa out and he almost barfed. _What the hell is that woman thinking, displaying such photos for everyone to see? _He moved on to the others. The other pictures were of Tsukushi and the child in varying stages of development – during a diaper change, being fed on a high chair, crawling, standing up.. Others seemed to be taken on trips – to the beach, to the playground, on a fishing boat with someone who looked like Rui's grandfather... Of all of them, only 3 included Rui. One was a wedding picture. It looked like it was taken at a judge's office and only included the top half of their bodies. Tsukushi was wearing a stylish hat with a little veil covering the upper part of her face, while Rui was wearing a simple gray suit. They were smiling, but for some reason, both of them looked solemn and stiff. Tsukushi, especially, looked almost grave. He wondered why they'd even display it. They didn't look particularly happy.... A part of him, the evil part, was quietly pleased to see that; but the bigger part of him, the part that was transformed when Tsukushi had come into his life, was uncomfortable to see the picture. He put it down.

The next picture was happier. Tsukushi held her newborn son in her arms, and she was looking adoringly down at him. She looked exhausted, but there was a glow about her that the picture couldn't hide. She was radiant – even with her hair disheveled. Rui, in the picture, wasn't looking at the baby. Instead, he was looking at Tsukushi. Even to Tsukasa, he could read the longing in his eyes. In that unguarded moment, caught by the camera's lens, Rui laid bare all his emotions for the world to see. Tsukasa felt like a voyeur seeing that picture, like he was seeing something clearly that he was not supposed to see.

The third must have been taken while Rui was already sick. He was at home, presumably in their apartment, and he was sitting in the couch with a blanket draped over his legs. A book lay open at his lap, but he wasn't reading. He was thin, it shocked Tsukasa to see. He was looking out the window and he had a faraway look in his eye – what he was thinking, Tsukasa couldn't possibly guess, but he looked melancholy and sad yet strangely peaceful. Tsukasa felt the remaining pieces of his bitterness fall away, and he hoped with all his might that his bestfriend was happy when he died, and that he knew, somehow, that all would be well between the two of them.

"He missed all of you, you know," Tsukushi's quiet voice nevertheless reverberated through the room.

Tsukasa's head shot up. He carefully returned the picture to its place. "We missed him, too. I- I missed him, too..." He hesitated, then asked, "How did it happen? Was he in much pain?"

"He was in pain, in the end... But he wouldn't show us just how much he was hurting. He was always concerned about how we'd feel to see him like that..." Tsukushi said, her voice so soft, Tsukasa had to strain to hear it. "It was so sudden..."

*****

_Rui and Tsukushi were laughing as they came back home after going to SeaWorld. They had gone to San Diego to watch Shamu live when Yoshi had started expressing his interest in all kinds of underwater creatures. They were laughing because, on the way home, Yoshi had said in a grave voice, "when I grow up, I want to be Shamu." They stifled their laughter to keep from hurting his feelings, but when he laid down for his nap, they let go and burst out laughing._

_Suddenly, Rui stopped and turned as white as a sheet. He gasped, grabbing at his stomach._

"_Rui, what's wrong? What is it? What's the matter?" Tsukushi asked worriedly, rushing to his side. Rui did not hear what she was saying, her voice sounded faint to him as he slowly dropped to the floor and blacked out._

"_I'm sorry, Mr. Hanazawa, Mrs. Hanazawa. We found a tumor in Rui's pancreas... According to the biopsy test results, it is malignant, we could not remove it fully – to do so would have damaged his pancreas permanently, not to mention the other vital organs surrounding it. It has metastasized. I'm so sorry," the oncologist informed them solemnly._

"_What? Nooo!" Tsukushi exclaimed, rising from her seat. Rui caught her hand to still her and asked, "How much time do you think I have?" Tsukushi looked at him in horror, hardly believing he could ask such a thing._

"_A month, perhaps more. Five months at most. I'm sorry it cannot be longer."_

"_Isn't there anything you can do???" Tsukushi demanded. "What kind of doctor are you???" _

"_Hush, Makino," Rui comforted her. He still called her that as a sort of endearment after all these years._

_The doctor answered her though, "All I can do is help him manage the pain. The cancer is too far advanced. It has affected most of his major organs. There is nothing else I can do." He hated this part of his job. If they had caught the cancer in time, they could have done something – he could have suggested chemo or a transplant. But it was too late for any of that._

"_Oh, Rui!" Tsukushi hugged Rui, as she started to sob. He gestured at the doctor to leave, and he did. _

"_What am I going to do without you? Don't leave me!" Tsukushi said harshly. She'd grown to depend on him since their marriage. Being separated from their friends and her family had made her vulnerable, and she had not had to rely on her weed power in a long time._

"_It's okay, it's going to be okay... Hush now, Tsukushi. It's time for us to make plans." Rui said firmly, and so they did. He made plans for her and Yoshi's future. Their future without him._

*****

There was a moment of silence as Tsukasa digested her words. Tsukushi had to swallow the lump that suddenly formed in her throat, and she took the time to compose herself. She'd shed all the tears she possibly could. And she'd promised herself and Rui that she would do no more of that.

"To be honest, I was furious when he left to follow you," Tsukasa smiled at her ruefully, a smile which disappeared immediately with his next words. "When I recovered from the amnesia, I had expected him to be there. You, I kind of understood why you weren't there, after all, I was such an asshole to you. Even when I couldn't remember you, your face disturbed me. Your expressions haunted me... But I didn't follow, didn't try to find you. They told me where you went, Rui had told them. But I didn't do anything about it. I was too proud to do anything at that point. Too filled with self-importance to make a move. I figured, 'she had the guts to leave, she should have the guts to return'. I waited, you know. I waited for you to realize it." Again, he looked over to her with a wry expression. "Baka Tsukasa." Tsukushi was looking back at him steadily. She hadn't moved from her position at the entryway.

"I waited, thinking you would realize that I remembered you now, and you'd be so happy, you'd come back of your own accord. But you didn't. Instead, I received word of your marriage to Rui, and I was furious again. This time, at myself.. For letting you go, for turning you away... But it was too late, of course. I could do nothing else but regret my actions – or should I say, non-actions..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I think that news destroyed me. I couldn't look at the world the same way after that. Nothing seemed worth living for. But I endured it as much as I could. I isolated myself. I rejected my friends. All I wanted to be was alone. It was my punishment for my pride. I didn't deserve to be with the people who loved me. I wasn't worthy of any of it..."

Tsukushi opened her mouth to say something, but Tsukasa interrupted her. "I went through the motions of living. Oh, I'd work and I'd still meet with Soujirou and Akira, but I'd just be there, not really contributing anything to the conversation, I could only be shocked they put up with it... I only woke up when I received Rui's letter. It galvanized me into action." Tsukushi mouthed, "Letter?" with a quizzical expression. But Tsukasa didn't see, and he continued. "Seeing you again... did things to me. I felt a tug at my heartstrings... The magic between us is still there. Still burning... I think I still have feelings for you." He admitted. "But I don't know what I'm going to do about them yet..." He smiled at her but it was bleak. He had always been a straight-forward man; in his personal life, and even in business. He was renowned for it.

Tsukushi was bowled over. This was what was so hard about being with Tsukasa. He was always so honest, and things were always simple to him. When he wanted something, he took it. When he felt something, he voiced it. He was a very single-minded man; so much so that sometimes Tsukushi felt overwhelmed by it. To be the object of Tsukasa's feelings and desires was an overwhelming, intense feeling. Someone who loves and hates with that much passion would expect the same depth of feeling from the person he was feeling it toward. She had thought she was a match for him in that regard. But now, too much had happened, and she wasn't sure anymore. She hadn't been strong like that, in years.

"I don't expect you to say anything now. Five years is a long time. I'll wait." Tsukasa assured her when she didn't say anything, his head cocked to the side. Earlier, he wasn't sure about his feelings; but when he saw her again tonight, he just suddenly knew what he had to do. He'd win her back. He had to.

"There's something I have to tell you.." Tsukushi began with hesitation. "Something that may change what you feel. Something I should have told you a long time ago..."

"What is it? What do you have to tell me?" Tsukasa asked her bluntly. "Is it about my son?"

*****

_I'm sorry I have to cut this part... The chapter is getting long. I love reading long chapters, but since this is so emotionally-heavy, I thought a little break might be welcome. Please don't shoot me!_

_So how did Tsukasa know Yoshi is his son? Is it just a lucky guess? Or did someone tell him? Stick around for the answers to these questions... ;)_

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own HYD, only this story._


	10. Chapter 9: CONFESSIONS, PART 2

**Chapter 9: CONFESSIONS, PART TWO**

Tsukushi let out an audible gasp. "Wa-why do you say that?" Her eyes were wide and she went a bit pale.

Tsukasa crossed his arms in front of his chest and sat down on the arm of an armchair. "It was just a guess... You freaked out when I saw the two of you at the playground, and when I got wet just now, my hair was flat and I saw his pictures. He looks EXACTLY the way I did when I was young. He's a good looking kid", he said flatly.

Tsukushi was speechless, "I-, I-, I-"...

"So can you explain why in hell you chose to keep my son away from me?" Tsukasa began in a dark tone. It was all the more frightening because he wasn't shouting. His eyes were flat now, and a vein was starting to throb in his temple. "Can you explain why you chose to run away knowing you were bearing my child???" He stood up and started walking towards her. "Can you explain why you married Rui even though you know the child you were going to have was mine and not his??? How could you do that???" He stopped right in front of her, his face inches from hers.

"How could I, what??" Tsukushi also replied heatedly, her hands balled into fists beside her. "I had no choice, damn you! You don't know what it's like, to be pregnant and alone and scared. You don't know what it's like to feel helpless and frustrated and devastated. You don't know what it's like to feel confused and uncertain because the person you love – the man who is the father of your child, doesn't even remember you exist!!!" She stared back at him in defiance.

"How did you expect me to tell you when you didn't even remember my name??? When everything I did only brought words of contempt from your lips! You didn't even have to taunt me and belittle me, I could see EXACTLY what you thought about me from the way you looked at me – as if I was little more than a pebble in your shoe! I could take the words you shouted at me. Your hurtful words devastated me but I still had strength to recover, but I was NOT going to have you say the same things to MY child!" Tsukushi started to cry. Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks as she remembered all the pain she'd felt and endured long ago. "I could forgive any pain you inflict on me, but I don't think I'll be able to forgive you if you had done the same to my son!"

"He was MY child too! You had no right to take him away from me! No right to take him away without letting me know of his existence" Tsukasa thundered back. He was smoldering with frustration and anger.

"It was MY choice to make and I made it! You have no idea what I had to endure for our survival.. My parents disowned me! I had to leave to avoid the disgrace to the family name! The fact that you forgot me was just rubbing salt in my wounds. I had to leave. I had to go my own way..." Tsukushi was still yelling at him. She was so mad she wanted to punch him to make him understand why she did what she did.

Tsukasa's eyes widened a little at the information about her parents, but he yelled at her angrily, "You never even gave me the chance to become a father to my own son! You, of all people, know how much I wanted to be a real father when I had children of my own! How could you go to another guy when you know how much I would love to be there for my own child??"

"I gave you the chance..." Tsukushi admitted, her voice quiet now. "I waited for you to find me. Instead, it was Rui who came, and he told me you still didn't remember. Still, I waited. I waited, and I waited. Until finally, I was almost ready to give birth and I couldn't wait any longer. My child had to have a name. And it was Rui who was there, and it was Rui who gave it." Her tears were still flowing freely.

Tsukasa sat slowly upon hearing her words. He knew Rui loved her. He loved her enough to be there for her when she needed him, and he loved her more than his own pride. Unlike him.

"You know I would have been there for you if I'd known what you were going through... I'd already decided to turn my back on my family, my name, my heritage... All for you. When you learned I had regained my memory a few months after you left, why didn't you tell me then???" Tsukasa demanded.

"I didn't know you had regained your memory. That was why I was waiting... I thought that once you do start remembering, you'd do everything you can to find me... But since you didn't, I never really knew. Since you never came after me, I believed you didn't love me. Not anymore. That you'd moved on", she confessed. She gave a sad shake, "It would have been too late anyway.. I'd already been married to Rui by the time you'd started remembering. We had a life of our own. Yoshi had a life of his own. I had to think about him. Not about you or me." She said firmly. Although her heart gave a pang at the thought of the lost opportunity – they could have been together then, had they not been so stubborn and proud, and yet she did not regret the choices she made. Not when she had her son to show for it.

"How could you say that??? I want to be in my son's life! As his father, don't you think I have the right to get to know my own son??? I've already lost how many years with him already!" Tsukasa shouted again. She can be so infuriating!

"Don't shout at my Mama!" A little ball ran from the doorway and rushed to Tsukasa's legs. The weight wasn't enough to bring him down to his knees, but it was enough to make him stagger a little bit. "You big meannie! I don't like you! Get away, get away! You maked my mama cry!" The little figure of Yoshi started punching and pummeling his father's legs.

*****

_Sorry for the short chapter... I don't want to reveal all the things Tsukasa and Tsukushi felt and did all at once :) But just enough to get them talking to each other. Will they ever reach an understanding and become friends for their son's sake? Will their son forgive Tsukasa's mean-ness to his mother? :)_


	11. Chapter 10 AN UNDERSTANDING

_Baka!: Thank you for your review! I pity Tsukasa too! Imagine not knowing you had a kid??? I don't know what Tsukushi was thinking! Don't worry though – I will not rest until I finish this fanfic :)_

_anime07: I hope they will be together too! I started writing this with a Tsukushi/Tsukasa ending in mind but I don't know if it will be a definite ending... Sometimes I start writing with a certain idea and then once I start typing it evolves into something completely different! _

*****

**Chapter 10 AN UNDERSTANDING**

Tsukushi and Tsukasa were both startled by the sudden appearance of Yoshi. They'd both thought he was asleep, and for a second, they didn't move.

Tsukushi was about to rush in and get her son, who was still trying to kick and pummel Tsukasa on his legs, when Tsukasa knelt down and held Yoshi at the tops of his arms, stilling him.

"Yoshi, I wasn't trying to hurt your Mama, okay?" Yoshi started to struggle again. "Can you please listen to me for a second?"

"Grow-ups fight too just like kids", Tsukasa said gently but firmly when Yoshi stopped to rest for a bit from his exertions. "_GROWN-up_", Tsukushi tried to correct from the sidelines. When two faces turned to look at her with identical expressions of confusion, she held up her hands and decided not to even bother. Apparently they could understand each other very well. She was just curious to see how this conversation was going to continue. Aside from Rui and Rui's grandfather, Yoshi did not have much experience talking to adult males. She wondered how he will handle it, he'd assigned himself as her protector ever since Rui left. And he took his duties seriously indeed.

_Ding-dong_, a doorbell rang in the distance. "That must be Mrs. Noogan. I'll go and let her in", Tsukushi said. "Yes, would you mind giving us a few minutes alone please? I want to talk to Yoshi, man-to-man." Tsukasa requested. "Is that okay with you?" He looked at Yoshi to get his permission.

Tsukushi was about to protest, after all, her son was only 4, would he be able to understand Tsukasa? She was also worried about how Tsukasa would handle Yoshi. After all, the only time she'd seen Tsukasa interact with any child was when they'd gone to the zoo with one of Rui's grandpa's patient's son. She hesitated, until she saw Yoshi give a firm nod in agreement with Tsukasa's words.

_Ding-dong_, the doorbell rang again. Realizing it was futile to protest, Tsukushi couldn't say anything except, "I'll be right outside if you need me." They just nodded but didn't say another word, waiting for her to leave. She had no other choice but to go out of the room to open the front door. She saw Mrs. Noogan, closing her umbrella and shaking off the raindrops that had gathered in her slicker as she folded it. "Hi, Mrs. Noogan. Please come in. Is the weather still bad? I thought you wouldn't be able to come back because of the heavy rain." She rushed to help with the plastic bag and overnight bag that Mrs. Noogan had in her hands.

"Yes, it's raining cats and dogs outside. But I figured to come home before it got any worse than it is."

"We have a visitor. I hope you don't mind if I go in ahead." Tsukushi wanted to eavesdrop on Tsukasa and Yoshi's conversation. Mrs. Noogan was puzzled but she nodded her head. "Of course, Tsukushi-chan." They'd been friends before Mrs. Noogan agreed to cometo Japan with her and be Yoshi's nanny. She had been her neighbor in the States when she'd first arrived there to make a life for herself with her unborn child. They'd agreed to discard the formality when they were alone together. "May I ask who the visitor is?", she asked curiously. She'd never seen Tsukushi act this way before. She was fidgety and looked like she wanted to rush off to where Yoshi and the visitor was.

"Yoshi's father." Tsukushi said before she turned away to go back to the living room. Mrs. Noogan's expression cleared and turned speculative. She'd heard a lot about this guy - she must admit, she was curious about him as well.

_Meanwhile, in the living room..._

"How old are you, Yoshi?" Tsukasa asked. His hands still resting on Yoshi's shoulders.

"Free" Yoshi said, holding up four fingers.

"So that means you are a big boy now, right?" Tsukasa continued without batting an eyelash. Yoshi nodded."You see, grow-ups fight too just like kids. Your Mama and I knew each other a long time ago and we were just talking about something. You know how you fight with your friends too?"

"Uh-huh.. I hab a friend named Jason, and we fight sometimes," Yoshi confirmed solemnly nodding his head. He was a sensitive child, and was trying to mirror the tone that Tsukasa was using on him. He knew this was a serious conversation. He was also tickled that this grow-up was talking to him like he was a real person. Not many people do that. Even his beloved grampa (actually, great-grampa) would use a loving but indulgent tone on him whenever they talk to each other.

"Yes. Friends fight too. But even if you fight, Jason is still your friend, right?"

"Uh-huh"

"Your Mama and I were friends, but we haven't seen in each other in a long time. Before, we used to fight a lot, but we're not really mad at each other when we do it. Do you understand?" This was too much for Yoshi to fathom – as the nuances of adult relationships are still hard for him to grasp. He frowned and looked askance at Tsukasa.

"Hmm.. Just understand that I would never ever hurt your Mama on purpose." Tsukasa explained, trying to find words to help Yoshi make sense out of what happened. He wanted the chance to get to know his son, and he didn't want to alienate him so quickly. He wasn't expecting Yoshi to like him right away (although he seemed to like him fine at the playground), but he'd hoped they'd at least be friends. And maybe one day, when he's ready – when they're both ready, he and Tsukushi can tell him he was his father.

"But you maked my Mama cry... My Daddy never maked Mama cry", Yoshi pointed out accusingly.

Hearing that was like a dagger in Tsukasa's heart. He always knew he didn't deserve Tsukushi. He always seemed to wind up hurting her, even when he didn't know it, and here was proof. Even his three (or four?) year old son could tell he was not worthy of his mother.

Tsukasa swallowed the lump in his throat. "Your Daddy was a good man. A great man. He was a better man than I could ever be... Maybe if you help me, I can do my best so I don't make your Mama cry ever again. Deal?"

Yoshi thought about it, and said, "Othay."

"Shake on it?" Tsukasa said solemnly, stretching out his hand for Yoshi to shake.

Yoshi, in turn, took Tsukasa's hand and they shook once, sealing their agreement.

Tsukushi was standing by the door. She'd been standing there listening for the past few minutes. Her eyes were filling again and she suddenly found it hard to swallow... Who was this man? He was a stranger... When did her Tsukasa ever grow up into THIS kind of man? A man who can explain things clearly to a four-year old without looking down on him OR losing his temper (which used to be no mean feat). Guilt overtook her as she realized, in that moment, that Tsukasa would make a great father. Perhaps she had done them both a disservice by keeping them away from each other.

"Now, where is your Mama? It's almost dinnertime. You must be hungry!" She suddenly heard Tsukasa say. Quickly, she used the palms of her hands to wipe at the tears that had started falling down her cheeks, and went back into the living room.

"What did you two talk about?" Tsukushi asked as she entered. No way would she just admit she'd been eavesdropping right outside.

Tsukasa looked at her in speculation. He suspected she'd heard parts of their conversation, but there was no way he'd be able to get her to confess. He mentally shrugged and hoped that he'd handled that talk well.

"Nutting, Mama. It's a shecret. Only mans are allowed to know." Yoshi told her in rebuke.

"Oh, yes. Sorry, I forgot." Tsukushi looked sheepish. It seemed her son wasn't going to let anything out of the bag.

"I'm hungwy, Mama." Yoshi told her.

"Alright. Mrs. Noogan is back. You can go into the kitchen and eat your dinner. I'll follow you soon. I just need to talk to Mr. Doumyouji." Tsukushi said.

"Othay." Yoshi started walking to the door when he turned back and reminded Tsukasa solemnly. "Remember, Mister Do'yoji. You pwomised." Tsukasa nodded, and Yoshi left.

"He's a great kid. You and Rui did a great job raising him." Tsukasa turned to look at her when Yoshi was out of earshot. His eyes were serious, but there was a trace of sadness in them.

"Hmm", Tsukushi affirmed. "We tried to explain things to him so that he understands what's happening around him. I must admit though, Rui was much much better at it than I was."

Tsukasa smiled at that, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "I want to get to know my son, Tsukushi. I want him to get to know me. I never got the chance to do that with my father when I was growing up... And I always swore I'd spend time with my son and share all the things that I always wanted my father to share with me. Will you let him live with me in my house for a few days? A week at the most?"

Tsukushi was touched at his words, but at the same time, she was troubled. "He doesn't even know yet that you're his father. The only father he knows is Rui."

"Then it will be your job to tell him, won't it?" Tsukasa asked her. He was serious in his request, and there was no way he'd let her deny him. He'll take a page from his mother's book if he had to. Although he hated to do it, he would. The stakes were too high for him to lose now.

"I'll give you 'til tomorrow afternoon to decide. Think about it." With those parting words, Tsukasa left, leaving Tsukushi alone with her thoughts.

*****

_Will Tsukushi grant Tsukasa's request or will she reject it? Will they be able to reach a compromise? How will Yoshi react when he hears his real father is Tsukasa? _


	12. Chapter 11: A CHANCE TO BOND

_Sorry I have not been able to update for the past couple of days! I had to take care of the details for my son's upcoming first birthday party :)_

**Chapter 11 A CHANCE TO BOND**

Tsukasa sat on his dark leather desk chair, staring at the teddy bear in front of him, and shaking the contents of his brandy glass around and around. He thought about the events of this afternoon. He hadn't felt this nervous and scared in years... He didn't know what Tsukushi will decide, but he fervently hoped that she will agree to his request... He knew that if Yoshi stayed at his house, he will be able to see more of her too. Much as he'd denied it to himself, he'd missed her these past five years. Missed seeing her. Missed holding her... From not remembering her one moment to remembering her the next – it was like being drenched with a bucket of ice cold water. All the memories they had together had flooded him, overcame him... He longed for her so much, it was almost a physical ache within him... But he knew, he will have to take it slow if he is to have any hope of winning her back.

He touched the teddy bear's nose. It was faded, and there was a spot where the fur was missing. This is his second chance to make things right, _damn_ if he'll waste it this time.

"Tsukasa?" a voice called out to him from the doorway. It was his sister, Tsubaki. She was already in her nightclothes. Over the years, she had retained her trim figure, and she scarcely looked like she'd given birth to a child, let alone two.

"Onee-chan?" Tsukasa looked up. His sister knew about Tsukushi and their son. He'd told her before he went to the penthouse.

"How did it go with Tsukushi? Did you get to see your son?" Tsubaki asked with concern, as she sat down in the chair opposite his.

"I won't know how it went until tomorrow. Yes, I got to see him." Tsukasa paused. "He reminds me of his mother." He gave a small smile.

Tsubaki smiled back. She was happy for him. Though she could cheerfully wring their necks, she still thinks Tsukushi and Tsukasa were meant to be together. She understood Tsukushi's reasons for leaving, but she also hoped that this time, she'll see that her brother had changed, and that things around the Domyouji household have changed as well.

"What are you planning to tell Okaasan and Otousan?"

"The truth." Tsukasa wasn't scared of what his mother was capable of anymore. He knew the feeling of having lost everything, everything worth having... He would face her wrath and bear whatever trials she throws at him with a smile, rather than face that kind of hell ever again.

"I'll help you..." Tsubaki assured him with her loyalty. The two have always stuck together, her kicks and punches have always been given with love and good intentions. Even now, she still gives him a few knocks in the head for old times' sake. "Okaasan has mellowed a lot since Otousan recovered from his heart attack... Besides, what else can she do? She doesn't hold the power in the company anymore. You and I do."

"That's true. But she could still make Tsukushi's and Yoshi's lives miserable. If she makes it hard for them now, Tsukushi has a lot more options. It's easier for her to leave with Yoshi, and I can't allow that, Onee-chan." He looked at her with serious eyes. His expression was also grave. He never referred to their mother as Okaasan anymore, not since she deceived them about their father.

"We will just have to wait things out and see." Tsubaki decided. She and her family will be back in two weeks. They just needed to finalize arrangements for the children's schooling in Tokyo for part of the year. Their parents will also be back soon from the cruise they'd decided to take. In a month's time, Domyouji Corporation will be holding it's yearly board meeting. Since their parents were still members of the board, they will be attending for sure. They'd deal with them then.

Tsubaki waited for Tsukasa to say something more, and when a couple of minutes passed without him adding anything, she decided to go to bed. She had an early flight tomorrow, and she wanted a chance to mull over Tsukasa and Tsukushi's situation.

"Onee-chan?"

Tsubaki paused at the doorway and looked back.

"Thanks", Tsukasa's voice was a mere whisper. Tsubaki nodded, smiled at him in reassurance, and left.

*****

_The following day..._

"Why did we get stuck with babysitting duty???" Mimasaka Akira groaned to Shigeru as they reached the door to Tsukushi's penthouse.

"We are not stuck. We are HAPPY to take care of him for her", Shigeru corrected. It was true, she was happy to help Tsukushi out.

Akira didn't really mind taking care of kids, he just thought he'd get a little break from taking care of the toddler kind. After all, his twin sisters were almost teenagers now. He was mentally preparing himself to taking care of the teenage boys who might give them a hard time.

"At least, Soujirou will be babysitting him with me!" Akira remembered, brightening up.

Luckily, Yoshi was asleep when they came. They were bringing him to the Nishikado residence for the afternoon. Tsukushi will be meeting them there later.

"He looks so much like Tsukasa, no one can deny he's his son", Shigeru whispered when they lay down Yoshi for his nap in the bedroom adjacent to baby Kiara's.

"That's true. But he's a lot more handsome and no one will be teasing him about his curly pineapple hair", Akira joked.

"Okay, so remind me again why we are taking care of two kids for the day?" Soujirou asked his friends as they joined Yuki and him in the den. Since his marriage to Yuki, he'd made it a point to work from home on the days when he didn't have to perform tea ceremony.

"Because we are gluttons for punishment, that's why", Akira rejoined. This earned him a sharp nudge on the ribs from Shigeru, and he winced, rubbing the spot with his hand. "Hey, that hurt!" Shigeru smiled in mute apology and gave him a little kiss at the side of his head.

"Tsukushi needed to go to the office. Rui's grandfather just arrived and they needed to go over some things before he needs to leave for Osaka tonight", Yuki explained patiently. She and Soujirou had been over this so many times since yesterday. "Besides, Mrs. Noogan will be here for part of the afternoon, then she'll have to go to the Hanazawa mansion to help with dinner preparations."

"And she will leave little Yoshi here?"

"Yes, Soujirou", Yuki chided him. "Think of it as preparation for when Kiara-chan grows up. Though Yoshi is a boy, you can practice with him."

"Me??? What about you?" Soujirou asked with a mock scowl.

"I'll be here but I also have to attend to Kiara if she needs me. Besides, which would you rather choose – play with a boy who can basically take care of himself, or change the baby's dirty diaper?" Yuki challenged with a raised brow. She already knew what the answer would be.

"If you put it that way..."

"We're keeping our mouths shut now", Akira promised, as he made a zipping motion across his lips.

"Masters and Mesdames?" A knock sounded on the door, and as it opened, they saw the little figure of Yoshi holding the hand of his nanny. He was sniffling, and a few tears had dried down his cheeks. He'd woken up in a strange place, and his Mama wasn't there. Plus he missed the smell of his favorite teddy bear, which was still missing...

"Thank you, Mrs. Noogan. Please tell the driver where you will be dropped off." Yuki smiled. Mrs. Noogan nodded, and she pressed Yoshi's shoulder in assurance before leaving.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Shigeru went to him and crouched to his level. Yoshi just sniffled in response and shook his head, _no_.

"No? You must be missing your Mama, huh?" Yoshi nodded _yes_. "It's okay to miss her. But she'll be here to pick you up before you know it!" Shigeru snapped her fingers and Yoshi looked at the sound her fingers made and gave a tentative smile.

"Why don't you play with us while we wait for baby Kiara to wake up and for your Mama to come? Is that a good plan?" Shigeru continued. Everybody was listening to their exchange. Akira was looking at her tenderly. He was still discovering these little facets to her personality, and he can't help but be awed by how warm a person Shigeru is. He was looking forward to spending the rest of his life with her.

Yoshi agreed with Shigeru and he quietly went with her to the corner of the den where Soujirou and Akira had set up some toys for him to play with.

"He's a quiet kid." Soujirou observed.

"He's more like Rui than Tsukasa in that respect," Yuki added. "But then we haven't seen him in action yet. He's wary of us now, but I wonder what he's like once he's warmed up to us."

"I shudder to think he'll have his parents' temperaments," Akira said, giving a mock shudder.

They quietly watched Yoshi explore the toys around him and play with them while they talked about a shared business venture. After a few minutes, Yuki was called to take care of Kiara-chan who had woken up, and she rushed away.

"Oba, oba!" Yoshi went to Shigeru and tugged at her hand to whisper in her ear. He was starting to get comfortable in their company. After all, his Mama had assured him that these were her friends. He didn't know his voice carried through the room as he made his request, "Can I go potty?"

Akira and Soujirou made identical faces of disgust when they heard that and pretended they didn't hear the conversation, leaving Shigeru to bring the boy to the bathroom to take care of his business.

Later on, Yuki brought out the sleeping Kiara to Yoshi for a visit. The four friends were highly amused when Yoshi who had just looked at her silently for a minute suddenly asked in a loud whisper, "Can the beby move?" He even insisted on going with Yuki once when she had to go and change Kiara's dirty diaper. He reported importantly, "Beby went poop-y. Look at, Ojisan, Beby went poop-y", and he urgend Akira and Soujirou to look, much to his Aunt Yuki and Aunt Shigeru's amusement.

*****

Meanwhile, Tsukushi was wrapping up her meeting with Rui's grandfather.

When the meeting was over, she told him about her meeting with Tsukasa. Rui's grandfather knew about the plan to return to Tokyo. He also knew that Rui was not Yoshi's real father but still, he'd been fully supportive of the two of them. He had been urging them to let Tsukasa know about the truth since the beginning, yet he had left the decision up to them.

Now, he was concerned that with Rui's death, Yoshi was left without a father figure, and Tsukushi without protection. He would do his best to take care of them, but since he lived in New York, he could only do so much... Especially since Tsukushi had also insisted on living independently. It seems that since Rui's death, she had struggled to gather her strength and muster the courage she used to have, determined to rely on her own power to survive with her son.

He dearly hoped that this Domyouji Tsukasa would be up to the task of taking care of them.

"Are you asking for my counsel or informing me of the situation?" he asked bluntly. He'd always made it a point to speak frankly. He was gruff but that was his way of showing how much he cares.

"I guess I'm informing you, Ojiisan," Tsukushi admitted realizing at that moment, that she'd already made her decision.

Hanazawa Rentaro nodded, as he packed his belongings. He loved Tsukushi like she was his own, and he hoped that her decision to come to Tokyo will bring her the peace she'd been searching for.

"Let me know what happens. I will be back here before leaving for the States in a month or less." He stepped in front of her. "Tsukushi-chan, Rui would have wanted you to be happy... Don't hesitate from it."

Tsukushi looked at him with a vulnerable expression on her face, but then she gave a firm nod. Rentaro smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Ja ne!"

Left alone, Tsukushi gave a deep breath, and after a few seconds, took out her cellphone and dialled.

"Hello?" the voice at the other end answered the call.

"I've made my decision", she said. Tsukasa waited with bated breath at the other end of the line only letting it out when she told him, "Yoshi can stay with you, but -"

"I have to be there too."

*****

_Sorry for the super long first part,I wanted to show the different people around Tsukasa and Tsukushi again – and how they are supportive and understanding of the situation now :) Plus, I wanted to give Soujirou, Akira, Shigeru and Yuki a chance to hang out with Yoshi as well! This is the introductory chapter for Rui's grandfather, although I don't know yet how much exposure I'll be giving him in the future... :) Hope you liked it!_

_Will Tsukushi staying in Tsukasa's mansion change things between them? Find out soon... ;)_


	13. Chapter 12: CASA DOMYOUJI

_Sorry I have not been able to update for the past few days... But here they are! For your patience... TWO chapters! _

_Anime07: I'll see what I can do :) If not in this chapter, definitely in the next one! :)_

_Kawaii ninja otaku: Thank you for your review and comment!!! Reviews like yours make my day!_

_Morlana: Yup! And Tsukushi's never met Tsukasa's elusive dad.. Hopefully though, he'll be better equipped to handle his mother this time around (no pun intended!) ^^,_

_darkbluegirl: As always, thank you for the compliment! :) I love opening my inbox and seeing the reviews that people post to this story! They encourage me to keep writing!_

*****

**Chapter 12: CASA DOMYOUJI**

Tsukasa was nervous. And he wasn't used to it.

He'd faced a fistfight where he was seriously at a disadvantage – he'd had more than five opponents and he'd come out the winner. He hadn't been nervous then. He'd faced down his mother and asked her point blank if she was the driving force behind Tsukushi's misery. He hadn't been nervous then either. He heads one of the biggest moneymaking corporations in the world and he has made presentations and proposals for business ventures to almost all the bigwigs in the financial world. These didn't make him break out into sweat.

But this. Watching over his son for an afternoon without his mother fazed him to no end.

It's been a little over two weeks since he'd made his request to Tsukushi for Yoshi to stay in his house with him. A little over two weeks since Tsukushi made HER request that she stay with their son. To prevent any problems, she said. She had to take care of some things first, and pack their belongings, but she'd promised to get there by the start of the following week. And she'd delivered on her promise.

Tsukasa remembered the deal he and Tsukushi arranged.

"I have to be there", she'd stated.

He had been flabbergasted. Of course, he wanted her to be there! He was even scheming up ways to lure her for visits, so he was shocked at the words that came out of her mouth – that was a _condition_??? If it was, he was prepared to pay it with arms wide open!

"Uh-"

"Look, I know it's going to be weird with my being there. But I promise I won't get in the way of your time to bond with Yoshi after the first week. I'll just make sure he's comfortable being with you, and then I'll leave the two of you alone", she hastily reassured him.

"Uh-", he started to say something again.

"I know it will be awkward to say the least. How many ex-girlfriends do you know would be willing to stay over at her ex-boyfriend's house?" she gave a forced laugh, "none. That's what. So don't worry about it. It's only temporary."

"Uh-erm," he cleared his throat. "Sure, you can stay over." He thought about it and said seriously, "But Yoshi has to know who I am in his life. I don't want him to be confused, and I don't want any gossip to reach his ears before he finds out the truth. You have to promise to let him know before the first week is up."

"Uh-", it was her turn to stammer. Then she said, "Okay, I promise..."

And so the deal was made. Of course, some of the maids still remembered Tsukushi from her first stay there years ago, and they welcomed her back with excited chatter and giggles, readily giving her their loyalty. The other maids were less open. There were a few titters in the beginning; after all, it was a very unconventional arrangement to say the least. He'd had those maids reprimanded, of course. His life was already too public for his own liking, and he'd like to be able to breathe and move comfortably in his own home, at least. He would have fired them, but he realized Tsukushi would never forgive him if he did that. So he put them on probation instead. That seemed to be a nice enough compromise.

Except for a little glitch at the start, things had been going well in the beginning. After all, Tsukushi was there to act as buffer between him and their son. If Yoshi was confused about their living arrangements, he didn't show it. He was, after all, only four. Oh, he had nightmares sometimes, but Tsukushi had assured him that those were normal.

"He used to have nightmares very infrequently, but since Rui's death, he's been having them more often", she'd explained.

He was worried about that. After all, he used to have nightmares of his own. He doesn't much like to remember waking up in cold sweat and chills with your breath coming out in short uneven gasps... No, he did NOT like that at all. He wanted to spare his son from having to experience the same thing, and although Yoshi's nightmares weren't exactly on the same level, he wanted to prevent them from coming to that point.

But what can he do? Precious little really.

To be honest, since they moved in, he'd only been able to do one thing for his son...

When Yoshi and Tskushi first came, Yoshi was in awe of the huge mansion. His eyes were bugging out of his head. "It's a biiigg place, Mama. We won't get lost here, right?" Tsukushi wasn't sure about that but she said, "We'll just stay in the rooms we know and if you want somebody to take you around, you can ask Mr. Domyouji." Yoshi was satisfied with that.

He was given the bedroom that Tsukushi used to stay in years before, while Tsukushi would be staying in the room across. The room Tsukushi used to use had been renovated. It was now every little boy's dream room – done in vivid colors and filled with every toy imaginable. Tsukushi had not been pleased with that, and she'd told Tsukasa so in not so many words, but in the end, she'd allowed it. After all, she didn't want to have Yoshi see all those toys and then take them away.

"Is all this for me???" Yoshi had asked in awe. Tsukasa nodded smiling, and he saw even Tsukushi was happy at seeing the obvious joy in their son's face.

He'd forgotten one thing though.

That night, he'd woken up to hear someone screaming and crying. He'd dropped the report he'd been reading and headed out to Yoshi's room in long strides but Tsukushi had gotten there ahead of him and he satisfied himself with standing and listening by the door, unnoticed by the two occupants.

Yoshi was sobbing in his mother's arms, and Tsukushi had been rubbing the back of his head and back and shushing him. "What's the matter, Yoshi-kun?"

Yoshi stopped crying long enough to ask, "Mama, why did Mr. Do'youji put me in the garage?" Tsukasa had been worried but he was more than a little confused by Yoshi's question, that is until the next day. Tsukushi had explained that the darkest room in their old house had been the garage, and when Yoshi had suddenly woken up in that incredibly dark room, he'd forgotten where he was and thought that he was there. Tsukasa had been horrified and had immediately placed a night lamp by the side of Yoshi's bed, and two more in other places in the room.

Now the first week was up and Tsukushi was going out to run errands this afternoon. It was the first time she'd be leaving their son with him.

"It'll be okay, Tsukasa. You'll do fine. Don't worry", she hastily assured him, as she rushed to get her bag ready.

"But, but-"

"Okay, Yoshi. You be good, okay??" She gave her son a peck at the top of the head. Yoshi was busy playing with a train set that Tsukasa had gotten for him. He barely spared her mother a glance.

Tsukushi looked at Tsukasa then. Her eyes spoke volumes. They were trying to convey a warning to him, but at the same time, they also reassured him. "Just call me if you encounter any problems and I'll come straight home." It was amazing how easily the word came to her lips. "I mean, I'll come straight _here_", she amended with a blush. "Ja ne!" With a wave of her hand, she was gone.

Tsukasa gulped. He was alone with his son now.

"Uh, are you okay there, Yoshi?" He asked. "Uh-huh", Yoshi mumbled.

"Do you need anything?"

"Nooope."

"Just call out to me if you want anything okay? Anything at all."

"Uh-huh."

Tsukasa stood there another minute, just looking at his son playing. He wanted to play with him, but he wasn't sure how to ask. When he was that age, he'd scoff at any adult who volunteered to play with him, thinking that they only knew boring games. He took a deep breath and then went behind his desk to look over some paperwork from the office that he had to sign. Every now and again, he'd look for Yoshi, and after being assured that he was still there playing quietly, he'd read the papers he had laid out on his desk.

He was reading a particularly complex agreement with another corporation whose software division they were planning to acquire when some sound alerted him and he looked up.

Yoshi was kneeling on one of the chairs in front of him with his hands on top of Tsukasa's desk, he had his chin in his hands. He was wearing a forlorn look on his face.

"Eh, Yoshi? Are you okay?"

"No."

"What's the matter? Are you sick?" Tsukasa asked with concern. He put the palm of his hand on Yoshi's forehead to check the temperature. It was normal.

"I'm lon-ly", his son said in reply. "Will you play wif me?"

Tsukasa's heart soared at the plaintive request. This was what he had been waiting for, for his son to actually want to play and spend time with him. It didn't really matter if he only thought of him as his mom's good friend. This was enough for now.

"What would you like to play?" He wasn't in touch with what 4-year old boys liked to play nowadays. He only prayed Yoshi wouldn't think he was boring.

"Cowboys an' Injuns!" Yoshi declared.

A few minutes later, Tsukasa was dead tired. From Cowboys and Indians, they'd moved on to playing Cops and Robbers, with him being the robber; they'd wrestled (and Yoshi always won), they had a mock sword fight when they were playing Pirates, and finally, with his curls, Yoshi thought it was a good idea to play pretend with him playing the part of the Little Mermaid. He even found a bright red wig for him to put on. He was absolutely mortified, but he gamely proceeded with the game, even finding it within himself to give a high pitched squeal during a particularly scary scene.

After that, he'd given Yoshi a snack of cookies and milk. He even shared them with him. It was while they were eating that Tsukushi came home and said, "Knock knock", by the doorway of the kitchen.

"Mama!" Yoshi immediately jumped off the chair he was sitting in and ran to her, throwing his arms around her waist.

"Hi, Yoshi! Did you have fun today?"

"Uh-huh, uh-huh! We played cowboys and injuns and cops and robbews and pirates! We wrestled on the floor and had a swowd fight. I won every time!" Yoshi boasted. "And I rescued him from the scawy old witch!" Yoshi excitedly told her, running out of breath in his haste to let her know of his day.

"Wow, it looks like you had a great time!" Tsukushi exclaimed to him, running her hand on his head to smooth his hair. She looked at Tsukasa then, and smiled at him, genuinely delighted that the day had seemed to go well. She cocked her head to one side and looked askance at him. "Yoshi, why don't you go ahead to your room and I'll follow? We have to change and wash up for bed now."

Yoshi gave a little pout but turned to obey his mother. He hadn't taken a step yet when he turned and ran to Tsukasa, giving him a shy hug on the knees. "Than'kyu, Mr. Do'youji. I had a gweat time!" He ran off.

Tsukasa had to swallow the lump that suddenly formed in his throat. He couldn't believe how touched he was with that one little gesture. He would gladly go through the day again for this.

Tsukushi gave him some time to compose himself. Then walked towards him asking, "So, what other games did you play today?" She stole a cookie and bit into it.

"Hmm, we played wrestling, like he said. And we played pretend." Tsukasa didn't want to tell her about the Mermaid part, especially not about him having to play the girl.

"He didn't convince you to play The Little Mermaid, by any chance?" Tsukushi asked him. Purposedly, grabbing another cookie and not looking him in the eye.

"How did you know that??" Tsukasa demanded.

"Hmm, this." Tsukushi reached up then and pulled the curly red wig off his head.

*****


	14. Chapter 13: TAKING THE FIRST STEP

_**Warning: **R-rated scene ahead... It's rated XXX! For those of you who are uncomfortable with scenes like this, you have two options: move on to the next chapter **OR** starting from the last line with the quotation marks indicating the conversation between Tsukasa and Tsukushi SKIP the lines in italics and then continue reading to the next lines in standard format. Thank you!_

*****

**Chapter 13: TAKING THE FIRST STEP**

"Is he asleep?" Tsukasa asked as he saw Tsukushi's reflection on the window pane before him. She nodded and walked towards him. He gave her the other warm mug of coffee he had in his hand.

"Looks like a nice night out", Tsukushi commented, curling her fingers around the cup, and making herself comfortable in the armchair he'd placed strategically in front of the wide window.

"Uh-hmmm", Tsukasa agreed, not leaving his place.

"Are you okay, Tsukasa?" Tsukushi asked with concern.

"I'm all right." He turned to her and gave her a smile. "I just wanted to thank you for today. I haven't had that much fun since - I don't even remember when."

Tsukushi felt sorry for him. She doubted that he'd experienced a day like today with his own parents. Despite all his wealth, she'd always felt she was richer when it came to parental love. B_efore that is_, she amended to herself wryly.

"I bet he tired you out, _ne_?" She couldn't help but tease him a little bit, and she laughed when she saw the blush creep into Tsukasa's cheeks.

"Has he always been like that?" Tsukasa asked. "I've never had any experience playing with young boys. Akemi-chan was much much different at that age. All she ever wanted to do was play house and dress up."

"Don't you remember what you were like when you were that young?" Tsukushi asked him.

"Nope... I didn't know the other members of the F4 until I was 5. Before that age, I don't really remember who I could have played with. No one in the house would have been deemed an acceptable playmate by my parents", he said thoughtfully. "And onee-chan was already in her pre-teens. I remember my mother forcing her to attend to other things – more lady-like occupations."

"Ohhh..." Tsukushi said. His childhood was even lonelier than she'd thought. Thank God he had the F4 in later years.

"So, has he always been like that? Very active, very quick... He didn't want to sit down. He was always moving", Tsukasa remembered, trying to turn the topic to Yoshi again. He didn't want to remember his lonely childhood. He didn't want to mar the day with sad memories.

"Hmmm, yes. He was always moving, even when he was inside my tummy. He sometimes wouldn't let me sleep with the amount of his kicks." Tsukushi said, smiling softly as she remembered her pregnancy days.

Tsukasa paused and turned quiet then. "I'd have given anything for that."

"Hmm?" Tsukushi asked, her mind still thinking about those past days.

"I'd have given anything to see that... To see you naked and your stomach heavy with the weight of my child... To feel his movements beneath your skin... I'd have given everything I have to have shared those experiences with you..." Tsukasa said softly. He was trying to look into her eyes and see her reaction to his declaration.

"Tsu-Tsukasa", Tsukushi stammered. She blushed at the heat she saw in his eyes. It was as if he was imagining the scene in his head. She felt herself heating up in response. The air seemed to sizzle around them.

"I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. It's how I feel." Tsukasa told her. "When I remembered and found you gone, I had nightmares for weeks. I'd fall asleep and dream about your smooth skin. The way you felt under me. The way you moved when I touched you. Your response when I kissed you, when I caressed you...How your eyes would darken when I moved within you... It may only have been one time, but I clung to it. I really thought everything we shared was enough to make you come back." He paused. "I should have known that wouldn't be enough. That you'd want a more concrete gesture..."

Tsukushi took a deep breath. She could feel the heat gathering strength at the images his words evoked in her. Her ears and cheeks felt warm. She too, had wanted to make love to him again. When she'd left and she found herself alone, she'd revisit the moments they'd shared. They had given her some comfort during those lonely nights. Those were the times she had still harbored some hope that he'd look for her when he remembered her. Of course, she later found out it was a vain hope. But still, she'd never forgotten the way she'd felt when he touched her.

"Tsukasa... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Yoshi. I'm sorry I didn't let you know you had a son. I stole your chance to be with him. I cheated you of him...That wasn't fair of me." Tsukushi said, her voice quivering. She fought to keep the tears in but a few escaped and ran down her cheeks, dropping into her lap. Her hands clenched around the mug she head. Her knuckles turning white with her anxiety.

"Oh, Tsukushi... I didn't mean to make you cry... There I go again, being thoughtless... Yes, you should have told me about Yoshi from the beginning, memory or no memory. But I do understand your reasons. Much as I don't agree with them. I do understand." He took the mug away from her hands and hugged her fiercely to him. "You shouldn't cry anymore. It's not like you." Tsukasa encouraged her.

"I'm just so, so sorry... I put you through a lot of pain... Some girlfriend I turned out to be," Tsukushi continued to sob into his shoulder.

Tsukasa just hugged her tight and chose not to say anything more. He decided to just be there for her this time. In truth, they'd both wronged each other. They'd both let their pride get in the way of their happiness. Without thinking, he kissed her. And when he started, he couldn't stop. He found himself kissing her hair, then he kissed her forehead... She'd stopped crying by then. He looked down at her and saw her staring at him. Her eyes were huge and filled with longing, some tears still clung to her lashes... He bent his head and slowly kissed them away.

_Then he turned his focus on her lips and kissed her tenderly... He gave a slow thorough kiss on her bottom lip, nipping it a little on the side before opening his mouth and taking in her own. Tsukushi slowly opened her mouth to his in response. Tsukasa was blown away by this. He gathered her more closely to him. The heat emanating from their bodies was amazing. The years melted away and it seemed that they couldn't get enough of each other._

_Their tongues met as they slowly moved them to explore each other's mouths. They were both breathing heavily by now. Tsukushi had slipped her fingers to run them through Tsukasa's curls. She'd missed doing that. Nobody had hair like his. She drew him closer to her, and when he moved his head to kiss her cheek and then her ear, slowly moving down her throat, she tilted her neck to give him better access. _

_His mouth lit a trail of fire as he made little nibbles down her throat and back again. Meanwhile his hands were busy pulling her shirt free of the waistband of her jeans, and Tsukushi gave a little gasp when she felt his fingers on her tummy's sensitive skin. Tsukasa stilled, thinking she had protested his action. "Don't stop", she moaned, taking his hands and sucking in her tummy to give him better access. That was all the encouragement he needed as he lifted her shirt to her throat and started kissing her breasts through her bra. Tsukushi reached behind her to undo the clasp herself. She swiftly removed her shirt and let her bra straps fall through her arms. She was hot, so hot... Tsukasa's mouth was doing so many wonderful things to her breasts. He took in one nipple in his mouth and sucked, his other hand was kneading the other breast. He slowly pinched her nipples, chuckling at the little gasp she released._

_Tsukasa took off his shirt and reached over to undo his belt. Tsukushi's hands beat him to it and she carefully unbuckled it. She opened the button of his slacks and slowly unzipped his fly. He felt himself growing harder as her hand grazed him. She was giving him little kisses on the chest as she slowly slid down his pants over his legs, taking his boxers down with them._

_They were both naked and they paused to drink each other in... Their bodies had changes since they'd last been together. Tsukasa was still slim, but his shoulders were broader, his chest more muscular. The hair running down his lower abdomen and into his manhood was darker. At first Tsukushi wanted to cover herself with her hands. She was dismayed to see that Tsukasa's body had only grown more beautiful through the years. Hers had been irreversibly changed by her pregnancy. She was still slim. Her figure was still firm, but there were little silver threads on her lower stomach now. Her breasts were fuller, the nipples at the tip a little bigger and darker. She wanted to hide but instead found herself growing bolder at the look in Tsukasa's eyes. To him, she had not changed. She was still as gorgeous now as she'd been when she was eighteen._

"_You're beautiful, Tsukushi", he whispered as he slowly kissed her again on the lips. His compliment made her braver still, and she reached a tentative hand to his manhood just as he used his fingers to open her up. _

_Tsukushi started panting. His fingers were doing wonderful things to her. He had his palm resting at the top of her mound, and he was running his finger down her vaginal lips, catching the first drops of dew that were coming out and spreading them all over her. He gave her clit a soft gentle pinch and Tsukushi felt a stab of desire pierce her. She wanted desperately to return the favor. His penis was in her hand and she now concentrated her efforts in pleasuring him. Slowly, she used her thumb to caress the head, smearing the moisture that leaked out. She moved her hand up and down the shaft, tightening her hold and then giving a gentle release, teasing him. _

"_I can't take this anymore", Tsukasa groaned and he inserted himself into her. He felt her opening up and slowly accommodating him. She was so warm and moist, he slowly drew himself in and out, gritting his teeth and concentrating on pleasuring her. Tsukushi gave a little gasp and a second later, Tsukasa felt her shudders all around him, and he finally let himself go – pumping faster and faster until he reached his own climax. And then spent, he gathered her to him and hugged her to his side, her head on his chest. Their breaths coming out in short uneven gasps because of their exertion. _

Tsukasa gave a soft sigh. He had not been with anyone else since the last time he and Tsukushi made love. She had complemented him since the beginning, and she was the only one who ever made him truly happy. Yet he was also worried about how this would affect her. Tsukushi could be unpredictable at the best of times and he wasn't sure how she would react to what had just happened.

He felt her body shake, and his brows drew together. _Was she crying? Would she bolt? _He was terrified he would lose her again. "I'm sorry, Tsukushi. Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" He started to lift his head up to look down at her.

She continued shaking and he felt wetness on his chest where her head was laying, but she made no move to escape his embrace.

"I'm okay.. Sorry if I scared you", Tsukushi lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she was still crying. Her hair was in disarray, but she still looked like a goddess to him. "I was just sad and happy at the same time... Sad because we wasted so many years apart, and happy because we found each other again. Not many people would have been given a second chance."

Tsukasa's heart fluttered at her words. He couldn't bring himself to hope that she still loved him after all these years.. There was still, after all, one last thing that needed to be cleared up between them... He was scared of the answer to his question, but he struggled to hide it. He mustered his courage to ask, "Um, what about Rui?"

Tsukushi straightened up at the question and forced him to sit up as well until they were eye to eye. She took his face and held it between her hands. Her all-seeing eyes saw the vulnerability he was trying desperately to hide and she felt her heart soften even more towards him.

"I was never with him that way", she confessed.

"Nan-, nani?" Tsukasa asked, not believing what he was hearing.

"I was never with him that way," she repeated. Her voice still soft. "I was never able to... I didn't see him in that way... I tried but I, I couldn't... I loved him but – he wasn't you."

Tsukasa felt sorry for Rui... He couldn't guess how being in his situation must have felt like. To have the woman you loved but at the same time, not have her... And yet he couldn't help it... he was also very happy for himself. He was ecstatic. His heart felt like it was going to burst with joy.

"Tsukushi, I love you... You are and have always been the best part of me... Will you be mine?" Tsukasa asked solemnly.

"_Baka_", Tsukushi said and Tsukasa's eyes widened a little at her uncharacteristic response. She laughed and her eyes filled with tears again.

"I've always been yours."

*****

_Is this the end of Tsukushi and Tsukasa's story? Stay tuned...._


	15. Chapter 14: COMPLICATIONS ARRIVE

_Thank you for your reviews and compliments! :) I can't tell you how much they mean to me! I would probably not be updating so fast if no one wrote to encourage me to go on :)_

_I wanted to give you, my readers, a glimpse of what transpired in the past. In the next chapter, I'm giving Rui the chance to "speak" his piece through Tsukushi..._

_For taking the time to write to me and review, here's the next chapter... Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it for you! :) _

**Chapter 14 COMPLICATIONS ARRIVE**

"Can you tell me what happened between you and Rui?"

Tsukushi looked up from the kitchen counter and stared at Tsukasa in speculation. She was trying to figure out what was going on inside that head of his. After what had just happened between them, the intimacy was back. _I guess something could be said about Soujirou's old theory on sexual repression_, she thought to herself. She didn't want to lose the closeness they now had by talking about her relationship with Hanazawa Rui. Who knew how he would react to whatever she had to say?

Tsukasa met her stare with his own and he tried his best to maintain a calm and nonchalant expression. He wanted Tsukushi to answer his question, and she wouldn't do that if she thought he'd react negatively to whatever she would say. In truth, Tsukasa was curious. He was still reveling in the afterglow of their lovemaking and he couldn't help but wonder about her and Rui's life together. He was perplexed at the life they must have led. He couldn't imagine being with Tsukushi and not wanting to get close to her. They've already done it a few times and he still felt like he couldn't get enough of her.

"Hmmm..." She thought about it. They were fixing an early breakfast for themselves with whatever ingredients they could find in the refrigerator and pantry. It was barely dawn, and in an hour, the kitchen staff would be waking up. There was one positive thing about the size of the Domyouji mansion, and that is that the family had its own private kitchen. Albeit unused most of the time.

"Why do you want to know?" Tsukushi asked, taking the bread slices she'd toasted and popping in six more. She brought the plate with the toasted bread onto the table and started arranging the ingredients of the chicken cheese melt sandwich they were going to eat.

"Just because..."

"Well, what do you want to know?" Tsukushi asked, slapping some mayonnaise, and putting some lettuce leaves and leftover cold chicken bits on half of the bread slices.

"Everything."

"Eh?" Tsukushi exclaimed in disbelief. Surely he didn't say _everything_?? She contemplated his request. And decided to heck with it, she'll tell him what he wanted to know – but of course she'll sift through the details. Men always say they want to know things when they really don't and then get mad about it later.

"Start at the beginning", then realizing how he sounded, he changed his tone. "Please."

"Hmm", she murmured again. She finished assembling the sandwiches and gave half of them on a plate to Tsukasa, then she opened the fridge door and took out fresh orange juice, poured them in two tall glasses with ice, and went over to sit beside him.

"As you know, after everything that happened with Umi-chan, I decided to take a break and spend some time with my parents in the fishing village." She started, losing herself to her memories.

"I wanted time to regroup. With all the events that happened, I was emotionally drained and I just needed a few days of respite." Tsukasa looked a little stricken at her admission, so Tsukushi assured him, "It's okay... It wasn't your fault. You didn't know who I was. We were all anxious and tense, you, most of all. I can't even contemplate losing my memory and forgetting part of the life I led." She soothed him, patting his hand lightly.

"Anyway... This part is really boring. I don't want to put you to sleep." Tsukushi said, hesitating. She didn't want to remember this part. It was still unfinished business to her.

"No, I'm fine. Go on." Tsukasa took a big bite out of the sandwich she'd made, and made a gesture encouraging her to continue.

"I found out I was pregnant a few days after staying there... There was a big scene and I decided to leave. Susumu was the only one who knew where I'd gone, and he was the only one who I promised to keep in touch with..."

*****

_By some luck, Tsukushi had a bit of money. Susumu had surprised her when she was leaving. He had been saving some money on the sly and he wanted to give them to her for her journey. Tsukushi did not want to take his money. She worked hard for the family just so her brother will not have to work as hard as she does._

"_No, Susumu-kun. This is your money. Spend it on important things," Tsukushi said, pushing back his hand with the money in it._

"_Onee-chan, you are important to me. You've been more of a parent to me than our own parents. I can save money again. It is about time I do my share of work. I will find a part time job of my own." Susumu took the decision out of her hands by placing the money into her pocket._

"_Just promise me that you will let me know where you are and that you are okay. That's all I ask", he pleaded with her._

"_Uhm", Tsukushi gave one nod in assent and gave him a fierce hug. "Don't tell anyone where I'm going. Not even Mama and Papa." Her eyes filled with tears when she mentioned her parents. _

_Susumu nodded as he returned her hug. "Bye, Onee-chan. Take care of yourself." He turned away so she would not see his own tears. This was hard enough for her without him adding to the mix. He will work hard and someday maybe he can join her._

_Tsukushi left the little house in the fishing village then. Her parents had barricaded themselves inside their room and she knew they would not be bidding her farewell._

_She rubbed her palm against her cheeks and mustered her courage. She had to leave. Staying here would only cause her parents more pain, and when the baby comes, she could not imagine having him bear the brunt of their disappointment._

_The money that she had, combined with Susumu's, was enough for a one-way plane ticket to America. If she bought the cheapest seat, there might still be some leftover to buy herself some decent food while she looked for a job and a place to stay. For now, eating healthy was a priority. She will not disregard the fact that she was now eating for two._

_Tsukushi debated over and over in her head if she was going to let her friends know about her decision. She knew they would only try to convince her to stay, and she didn't think she can bear it. Not in her present state of mind. She didn't want to be a burden to them. And she didn't know how much more verbal abuse from Tsukasa she could take... Seeing him everyday and seeing the look in his eyes every time he stared at her made her lose hope he would ever remember her. Sometimes, she thought that she worked so hard to reenact their moments together, not to make him remember, but to at least incite some kind of emotion in him. Anger. Ire. Irritation. Anything but nothing._

_But now, she couldn't do that anymore. The stress was not only making her crazy, she didn't know how it would affect her baby. It was something she was not willing to take a chance on._

_If she told Yuki where she was, she'd only be bombarded and harassed by the F3. She decided to spare Yuki that. If she chose not to tell her, then there'd be nothing to pass on, and Yuki can be spared the incessant questions... The F3...Especially Hanazawa Rui. She would miss them. Somehow, throughout everything that had happened between her and Tsukasa, they'd become her friends too. They were people she could count on... But she knew that she can be strong enough not to need them. After all, she'd survived before, without them. She can survive again. But Domyouji needed them. If only so that they can remind him that he was not alone in this world, and that other people sympathized and were in the same boat. _

_Domyouji... Tsukushi let out a quiet sob. She did not want to attract the attention of her fellow passengers on the plane. If by some chance he starts to remember, she fervently hoped that he'd look for her. She believed in him with all her might.. She knew he wouldn't have forgotten her willingly – not if he had a choice... She knew he loved her, and that he would never let her go. If he came for her, she'd go with him willingly, gladly. His mother wouldn't matter. She can brave her wrath for his sake and for her child again... But alone... it was better for everyone if she left. If he did not even remember her, remember loving her, or any of the bittersweet moments they had shared, if she disappeared then, his life won't be changed. He can go on as if he never knew her. And there would be nothing left to fight for. _

_*****_

"I went to New York... Until now, I don't even completely understand why I chose that place of all places to go to.. Maybe because at the back of my head, I knew it was big and busy – that I could hide there..." Tsukushi continued.

Tsukasa fought the constriction he felt in his throat. And he hugged Tsukushi... "I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone. I'm sorry I wasn't with you..."

"Hush...." Tsukushi soothed him... "It's alright... You're with me now... The past doesn't matter any more..."

*****

"_I found a small apartment in Chinatown. It was on the third floor and there were no elevators but the rent was cheap. I had a hard time finding a job at first because I couldn't speak English very well, but the manager at a small Japanese restaurant decided to take a chance on me. First I was on kitchen duty, but she promised to promote me to a waitress position if I learn English fast enough. Although there were some Japanese customers there, most of the people who eat there were foreigners. The restaurant job was for nighttime so I tried to look for something during the day. Finally I found a job cleaning houses."_

_In truth, there had been days when Tsukushi had felt the incredible loneliness of being alone and separated from her family and friends. At night, she would sometimes find herself giving in to tears and praying, always praying, for Tsukasa to come find her. She couldn't tell him this of course. It would only add to his guilt, and she didn't want that._

She continued with her story. "So that's how I survived in the beginning. I studied English hard after my waitressing job. And I was lucky that my neighbor at the apartment next door was a kind lady, and she let me practice my English on her."

"Mrs. Noogan."

"Yes. She was a godsend."

_Tsukushi decided not to tell Tsukasa just how much of a godsend Mrs. Noogan had really been to her... Because she had little money, she couldn't afford to go to a doctor and get herself checked. She barely had enough food to eat and money to pay the rent. Some days she just bought a carton of milk and that's all she drank and ate. She remembered her grade school teacher telling her that milk is a complete meal already so she figured she would be fine with just that. She hadn't known that there were free clinics sometimes in certain places which could do a checkup on her for free. Mrs. Noogan had told her about them and had even brought her there for her first visit._

_One day, she had just been coming back from one of her checkups when she found that her apartment had been broken into. The lock on the door was flimsy, it would have been easy enough for a robber to break off the knob and enter her room. The entire room was in shambles. The mattress overturned and the dishes broken. The fridge, though unplugged, had its doors open. Her suitcase was slashed, the laundry that she'd hung by the window were in a mess on the floor. What broke Tsukushi's heart though, were the clothes that she'd bought for the baby which had been carelessly muddied and strewn with all the broken glass._

_She just took one and sat on the floor hugging the shirt to her and crying hopelessly.. It was at that moment that she'd first felt her baby kick. Tsukushi stopped crying, she tried to concentrate – was it her imagination or was that an actual kick? Then the baby kicked again. She wasn't imagining things, it WAS her baby. Tsukushi touched her stomach in wonder, and at the moment that her palm reached the skin, the baby inside her gave a series of bumps and kicks. It was almost as if he or she was giving her courage and encouragement to go on and keep fighting. This occurrence gave her the strength and resolve to continue..._

_It was while Tsukushi was cleaning up the mess in her apartment that she heard a knock at the door and saw the landlord. He told her that there was a Japanese gentleman waiting for her downstairs. Her heart leapt, and she rushed down as fast as she could. Her tummy had grown big by then and she wasn't as agile as she once was. When she reached the ground floor, she saw someone with his back towards her._

"_D-Domyouji?"_

_The man turned and her hopes were dashed._

"_Hanazawa Rui..."_

_From the beginning, Tsukushi had made it clear that she was still in love with Tsukasa, and even though Rui had told her that Tsukasa had still not regained his memories, she still had faith that he would come for her as soon as he remembered her. Rui had known that she wouldn't accept his charity, so when he offered her a job in return for food and lodging, she decided to accept. If it was only her own welfare she had to think about, she would have gone on on her own but because she was already getting some warnings from her bosses at the restaurant and cleaning agency about firing her because of her advanced pregnancy, she went with him._

_The entire time, Rui had made it clear to Tsukushi that he was planning to stay by her side. _

"_Hanazawa Rui, you are already giving me far more than I deserve. Don't throw your life away for me too. I'm not worth it."_

"_You are worth it, Tsukushi. I'm not throwing my life away, I just decided to concentrate on the American side of the business, that's all." He told her firmly. He wouldn't be budged by anything she said either._

"_I still love Domyouji."_

"_That's okay. I'm not asking you to love me the same way. I just want a little bit of your love, Tsukushi-chan. That's all." Rui told her. Every week they'd go for a walk in the park, and every time, he'd do his best to convince her to marry him. Though Tsukushi knew that she was running out of time and she had to give her baby a name to save him or her from disgrace, she was still waiting and holding out for Tsukasa._

"_You are worth more than someone's leftover love for someone else, Hanazawa Rui." Tsukushi told him sadly._

"_That's where we think differently, Tsukushi-chan. The love we share is very different from the love you share with Tsukasa. It's not a leftover if it's not in the same level... Look, I'm not asking you to love me in the same way. We are different people, and the love you give either of us will be a different kind of love... All I'm asking for is a chance to show you how sweet loving me could be..." Rui convinced her earnestly..._

_It took some time, but finally, she gave in. She was already at the end of her eighth month by then. The doctor was already making preparations for a possible premature birth because the baby was so big, he was worried that she would have a hard time giving birth. The day before she agreed to his proposal, she'd been filled with despair. Surely if Tsukasa had remembered he would have come for her by now? And if he still didn't remember, how much longer can she wait? Can she give up her baby's future in order to wait for him? She had no guarantees that he would even remember her. The doctor had said the memories could return, or they could be lost forever. She thought of the baby and decided she couldn't take that chance. She made the decision and told Rui she would marry him the next day._

"Rui was a good husband. He was always considerate of my feelings, and he treated me as an equal. My opinions mattered to him, and he made me realize that I should get my degree – not so that I'll fit into his world, but just for me... For my self-worth"

"I'm not going to deny that I learned to love him. I still love him... Maybe not in the same way I love you. And maybe it was not the kind of love he deserved to get from me, but I loved him in my own way, and he loved me too." Tsukushi said softly.

"Rui is - was a good man. He was the best friend a guy could have... I'm glad to know that you had each other..." Tsukasa admitted. If he could have had anyone else taking care of Tsukushi, he would choose Rui.

"What about Yoshi? How was he with the baby?"

"He was great with him. He was a good father to Yoshi even though he wasn't his own son... The bond they share is different. And it started when I was giving birth to him. Something went wrong during the delivery, I had started to bleed too much and the doctors were scared they might not be able to stop the bleeding..."

"_I'm sorry, Mr. Hanazawa. The baby was too big for her. Something must have torn inside and she is starting to bleed profusely, I am worried that we might need someone to donate blood for her since our own supply might not be enough", the surgeon informed Rui seriously. His green surgical gown still had splatters of blood – Tsukushi's blood._

"_What is her blood type?"_

"_It's very rare. AB positive."_

"_I'm AB positive. I'd like to donate my blood."_

_With the blood he gave for Tsukushi, the doctors were able to transfuse enough blood into her while they repaired the damage the birth had done. She would have to take it easy for a while – no strenuous activity, bedrest for a couple of weeks, and absolutely no heavy lifting. She would need help taking care of the baby because she will have to focus on her own recovery. That was when she thought about hiring Mrs. Noogan. She had wanted someone she could trust taking care of her child._

_The relationship Rui and Tsukushi had changed because of that. They weren't just bound by any spoken vow, they shared the same blood now. Rui's blood. The friendship they'd shared became deeper and stronger. _

_Because of Tsukushi's operation, Rui became a more active participant in caring for Yoshi. It was he who would wake up to change him and bring him to Tsukushi to be fed during the night. When she'd recovered enough to take care of Yoshi herself, he still played with him and spent time with him whenever he was free from his own responsibilities._

_Of course they tried to take their relationship into the physical level, but something always stopped them from doing so... Sometimes they'd hit heads and just fall into laughter. It was as if they'd shared an unspoken understanding not to taint their relationship with sex. Maybe Rui also knew that she still loved Tsukasa and that she still remembered him from time to time, after all, Yoshi was the splitting image of his biological father. _

"Whatever the reason, we never made love to each other. We were happy just being together. We were friends first and foremost." Tsukushi said, ending her story with a whisper. The sun had started to rise a few minutes before the end of her story.

"I'm glad you and Rui never did it... I feel sorry for him for missing out on sharing that kind of intimacy with you, but at the same time, I admit that I'm happy it is still something that we can cherish just for the two of us." Tsukasa leaned and placed his head near Tsukushi's, touching his forehead with hers.

"What is the meaning of this???" The two did not even notice that another person had entered the room. They turned their heads and at first could not see who the intruder was since the light was in the room behind the doorway.

Then the figure stepped into the light. Domyouji Kaede.

*****

_Uh-oh... Tsukasa's mother makes an appearance. What will happen to Tsukasa and Tsukushi now? Does this mean they're bound to repeat the sequence of events they'd already suffered at the hands of Tsukasa's mother? Will they get the chance to tell Yoshi the truth before anyone else? Find out in the next chapter of This Time Around... ;)_


	16. Chapter 15: LA FAMILIA DOMYOUJI EN MASSE

**Chapter 15 LA FAMILIA DOMYOUJI EN MASSE**

Tsukushi straightened up from her seat. How must they look to her? Tsukasa was bare chested, and he was only wearing pants. The belt wasn't even buckled for God's sake! And she was only wearing Tsukasa's white shirt, and though she knew she was decently covered (the shirt reached up to her knees), she felt naked. What was it about this woman that transformed her into the gawky 17-year old she had been when they first crossed paths?

"Tsukasa! What is that woman doing here??" Domyouji Kaede stepped into the room more fully.

"What does it look like she's doing? We're eating breakfast. I suggest you leave this room before we get indigestion", Tsukasa told her coldly. Tsukushi was shocked. She'd never heard him speak to his mother like that before. Oh, he'd call her names and such, but he'd always always still been respectful because she was the one who gave birth to him.

"How dare you speak to me in that tone?! You would choose to defend this – this _gold digger_ over your mother?" Kaede was almost apoplectic with rage. Her face had flushed bright purple.

"Mother? Mother? You are no mother of mine..." Tsukasa straightened up and went to her. They stared each other down until Tsukushi tentatively said, "Tsukasa, stop..." She put her hand on his arm, urging him away.

"No, Tsukushi, she should know her place. The days when she can dictate to us are over." He took her hand in his and led her out of the room. "Let's go. I've lost my appetite."

"Also..." Tsukasa stopped by the doorway and said, without looking at his mother. "She's no gold digger. She is going to be my wife and the mother of the future of this Corporation. I suggest you remember that." He walked furiously on, bringing Tsukushi with him. They picked up their clothes from his study along the way.

"Tsukasa, it is probably better if Yoshi and I leave. I don't want to cause another rupture in your family... Maybe you should talk to your mother properly. Things have changed now, she wouldn't be as opposed to our relationship as she once was." Tsukushi protested. They were still rushing down the corridor to his room.

"No, Tsukushi... This family was broken long ago. It has nothing to do with you." They'd reached his room by then. "Don't leave. Please. I don't think I can bear it if I lost you again." Tsukasa held both her hands in his and looked into her eyes earnestly.

"Uhm" Tsukushi nodded. "I'll stay - We'll stay, as long as you need us..."

Tsukasa gave her a searing kiss on the lips and opened the door to his room.

"Tsukasa! How have you been, son? I've just met this charming young man. He came in here looking for his mother... He tells me he knows you!" A distinguished looking man looked up at them from his position on the floor. He was sitting cross legged by the foot of Tsukasa's bed. Across from him sat Yoshi, who was still wearing his pajamas. With his straight hair sticking out every which way, it looked like Tsukasa's and he resembled him more than ever.

"Mama!" Yoshi stood up and yelled, running to his mother.

"Mama? Are you this handsome child's mother?" The man stood up and brushed his hands on his pants. So this was Tsukasa's father... Like Tsukasa, he had curly hair, although his was tamer and cut shorter. He had a handsome head of hair with grey wing tips on each side of his head, by the temple. He was the same height, but his body had more bulk. Still, he was a trim man, and if his looks were any indication of how Tsukasa (and Yoshi) would look like years down the line, she was in big trouble, Tsukushi assessed.

"Yes. Good morning, Domyouji-sama. I'm Hanazawa Tsukushi. I am pleased to make your acquaintance." Since Tsukasa seemed to be rendered speechless by his father's presence, Tsukushi took the initiative to introduce herself first.

"Ahhh.. The pleasure is mine... As you might have deduced, I am Domyouji Tsukane – this young man's father." The man struck a thumb at Tsukasa and reached over to return her handshake. "Tsukushi, Tsukushi... Are you the same Tsukushi I'd been hearing about? But it seemed you had a different name... Tsukushi... Tsukushi Makiko, no that's not right." He seemed lost in thought as he tried to remember where he'd heard Tsukushi's name before.

"I was once Tsukushi Makino." Tsukushi told him. She could only guess what he'd heard about her. Whatever it was probably was not good if the source was his wife. Still, she stood in front of him proudly. She did not feel the need to cower at his presence. She had nothing to hide.

Tsukasa had come out of his stupor by this point. "Otousan, you're here early. I was expecting you to arrive next week."

"Is that any way to greet your father?" Tsukane teased his son. "I got bored hopping from island to island so I told your mother I wanted to cut the trip short and go back home. Maybe relax for a bit before the big meeting next week! By the way, your mother was looking for you. Did you see her?"

This was met with uncomfortable silence. Tsukane was not ignorant about the strained relationship between his son and his wife; and although the relationship between his daughter and his wife was less strained, he knew about it as well. He was hoping to do something about that with this visit, but he was still testing the waters. He wasn't one to cast stones either – he and his children were strangers to each other. Since his retirement, he'd planned to reconnect with them, but things seemed more difficult to repair than he'd originally thought. Though he was free, the situation had reversed and it is now his children who are too busy to see _him_.

"Yes, we saw her. She's probably on her way here right now." Tsukasa told his father flatly.

"Oh? Then I better go and meet her halfway. Why don't you and this young lady get dressed and join us downstairs for breakfast?" Tsukane said. It was formed as a question, but Tsukasa and Tsukushi both knew it was an order. "See you there!" He cried cheerily and he left.

"Has your father always been like that?" Tsukushi asked hesitantly, a second after the door closed.

"I have no idea. Until recently the only communication I had with my father has been through email, calls and text messaging", Tsukasa said grimly. "And then it was only ever about business."

Tsukushi felt for Tsukasa all over again. She remembered his lonely childhood and knew he'd once envied her happy relationship with her parents. Seeing the way they acted towards each other, the relationship between father and son was so formal – they acted more like business partners than family... She wondered what she could do to help fix the gap between them. His mother might be resistant to whatever she plans, but she was hoping his father would react differently. Somehow, she had the feeling that Domyouji Tsukane wanted to improve his relationship with his son.

"Mama, who was that man? He said he was Mr. Do'youji's papa. Is he weally?" Tsukushi snapped out of her musings when she heard Yoshi's question.

"Yes, he is Mr. Domyouji's papa..."

"But Mr. Do'youji is a grow up. Do grow ups have papas too?"

"Yes. Grown ups have papas too. You know ojii-san? He was your Daddy's papa's papa. Grown ups need papas too, just like kids." Tsukushi explained.

"Ohhh." Yoshi's brow furrowed in thought. "He says I should call him Ojii-san. But my ojii-san has glasses and white hair. He doesn't. Is he my ojii-san too?"

"Yes, he is." It was Tsukasa who answered this time. He was frowning, thinking about what possible things his mother told his father about his and Tsukushi's relationship. She did not hold the presidency in the Domyouji Corporation anymore, but that did not make her any less potent. Still, he was prepared to face any challenge head on. Tsukushi was by his side, and he'd do everything to make her stay.

"Come on, we better get ready quick, I don't want to provide that old hag with any ammunition." They rushed to get dressed and were at the dining room in record time.

Tsukushi didn't anticipate a warm welcome when they finally arrived, and she didn't get one. At least, not from Tsukasa's mother. Tsukane, however, gestured with one hand to the food set up in a buffet table adjacent to the one they were all sitting at. The table was set informally, well informally for the Domyouji's, with Kaede sitting on Tsukane's right side instead of across from him, while Tsukushi sat at Tsukasa's right and he was the one sitting across from his father. Yoshi's booster seat was placed between them. Tsukushi knew that this was not the way the rich did things, but she and Tsukasa had found it more convenient to keep Yoshi sitting in between them so they could both help him while he was eating. Still, she couldn't help but think that the table looked like it was divided according to loyalty and that there was an invisible line separating them from their "enemy".

Yoshi was enthralled by the assortment of dishes laid out before him. He'd never seen so many different kinds all at once. There was an egg station, a congee station, a noodle station, bacon, two kinds of rice (Japanese fried rice and plain), ham, cheese, different varieties of bread and cereal, skim/nonfat/whole/soy milk, and many types of fruits – some Tsukushi recognized, and some she didn't. She tried to go through all the choices with Yoshi fast and without making much noise, but it was impossible. She could feel Tsukasa's mom scrutinizing them. What she was thinking, she couldn't guess, but she did her best to ignore her.

Tsukasa was hovering protectively over them as she and Yoshi made their way down the buffet table. Even when he was finished filling his plate, he followed them – answering Yoshi's incessant questions and telling him about what kind of food this or that one was, where it came from, how it tasted like... In the end though, Tsukushi did not really have much of an appetite so she only got herself a bagel, cream cheese and yogurt. Yoshi, who usually ate heartily at the best of times, might have actually been intimidated by all the choices and so only wound up choosing his favorite cereal.

When they finally sat down to eat, Tsukasa couldn't help but reflect on the premature arrival of his parents with resentment. Things had been going so well with Tsukushi, and he was just starting to really bond with Yoshi. He clenched his fist. He will not let his parents' presence interfere with their plans. Not now, not ever again.

"Nice to see nothing's changed around here," Tsubaki said, announcing her presence. She was carrying her son, who was fast asleep on her shoulder, while the handsome Japanese man standing beside her was holding the hand of the little girl Yoshi had met in the school playground, Akemi.

"Tsubaki-chan!" Tsukane stood up and walked to his daughter and her family with his arms wide open. "Hello, Otousan." He exchanged kisses with her, lowering his voice so as not to disturb the boy's sleep. "Why don't you join us as soon as you put Tadeo-san in his bed upstairs?" Tsubaki agreed and left quickly. Tsukane shook hands with the man who must be Tsubaki's husband. He was a handsome Japanese man who had a regal bearing. He must not be pure Japanese because of his aquiline nose and very light brown, almost hazel eyes.

Tsukane turned to Akemi, who was wearing a very pretty very casual short sleeved pink dress and sparkling pink sneakers to match. "You seem to have grown a foot since I saw you last, Akemi-chan!"

"Hello, Ojiisan!" Akemi gave him a hug. When she did, she saw Yoshi seating at the table. "Hey, it's the little boy at the playground!" She ran over to him. "What are you doing here?"

"Eating bwekfast." Yoshi told her. He seemed to be developing a talent for stating the obvious, just like his father.

"I know that, dummy! What are you doing here? In my house!" Akemi asked him importantly.

"Akemi-chan! Don't use words like that! And why are you asking such nosy questions?" Tsubaki had returned to the dining room and scolded her daughter having asked the nanny to watch over her son.

"I'm not being nosy! I just wanna know what he's doing here, that's all." Akemi denied. "I like him. He's my friend. Mama, can I play with him?"

"If he says he wants to play with you, you can. Wait for him to finish eating though." Tsubaki told her.

"Come on!" Akemi started to pull Yoshi's hand almost pulling him from his seat.

"Wait!" Yoshi told her, taking his hand away. "Mama, can I play wif her?"

"You can. Are you finished with breakfast?" He nodded and Tsukushi released him from his seat. The minute his feet touched the ground, Akemi took his hand and started pulling him with her.

"Come on! Follow me! I know lots of nice games!" They heard Akemi's high-pitched voice as it slowly faded away.

"Tsubaki-neechan?" Tsukushi called in a faintly beseeching tone of voice. From what she knew of Tsukasa's firecracker older sister, she dreaded what kind of reception she would receive.

"Tsukushi-chan!" Tsubaki went to Tsukushi and gave her a warm embrace. "I should scold you, but I'm too happy to see you! How have you been? We have a lot to catch up on!"

Tsubaki's husband approached the two women. "This is my husband, Kaneshiro Takeo."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Kaneshiro-san." Tsukushi gave a bow in greeting.

"The pleasure is mine, Tsukushi-chan. I've heard a lot about you from Tsubaki." The handsome man returned her bow and smiled, crinkling the corners of his eyes as he did so.

"Come, let's sit." He guided Tsubaki to their seats on the other side of Tsukasa, consciously or unconsciously showing the family where their loyalties lay.

"Nee-chan", Tsukasa stood up to greet his sister, giving her a cool kiss on the cheek. Tsubaki smiled at him and winked, giving him a light tap at the back of his head. The two men grasped each other's arm, leaned in, and patted the other's back – their manly version of a hug. Tsubaki rolled her eyes when they did this, and Tsukushi tried to stifle a giggle.

"So... to repeat Akemi-chan's question and to ask my own. What is that child doing here? Who is he?" Kaede asked without further ado. Her tone was tempered, though her eyes were flashing. As always, she had excellent control of her temper, though of course, as the people around the table knew, that only made her more dangerous. The cooler the tone, the more calculated the attack.

"That child lives here." Tsukasa answered her in an even tone of his own. With his father there, he strove to be civil. Tsukushi extended her hand and linked them with his under the table. To comfort, to support, to remind... or a combination of all three.

"Who is he??? By what right is he staying here? I forbid her and any child of hers from staying in this household!" Domyouji Kaede raged, pointing at Tsukushi. She was slowly losing control. This was Tsukasa's plan, and a brilliant one at that. He wanted to prick his mother's temper little by little, making her release the rage inside her and thus allowing his father to see what kind of mother his wife really is.

Tsukane just watched the spectacle unveiling before him. His family had always had volatile tempers, he knew that. They got part of it from him. He thought that he should keep silent for now, and let them say everything they wished to say, and he will just interject when the time was right. He was a bit surprised at his wife though. He'd never seen her act this way. She was looking quite deranged. But still he did nothing, this confrontation had been a long time coming, five years to be exact, and maybe even longer, if you include the level of hurt that lined every word.

"That child has a name. Yoshi. And he has every right to be here, he's a Domyouji, and the future of this family." Tsukasa stated, emphasizing every word. "He's my son."

*****

_Dum dum dum dum... Hmmm, just felt that the chapter was getting too long... So if you'll forgive me, I'll cut this part neatly, right... THERE! ;) See you in the next chapter! :)_


	17. Chapter 16: CHAOS REIGNS

**Chapter 16 CHAOS REIGNS**

Domyouji Kaede immediately let out a hiss, standing up as soon as she heard Tsukasa's declaration. Even Tsukane was a little shocked at the blunt way that Tsukasa had said it. He had suspected something as soon as he saw the boy, but it was one thing to suspect, and another to have the suspicion confirmed.

"WHAT?! You filthy little alley cat! I underestimated you – you're a lot smarter than I thought!" Kaede screeched at Tsukushi, pointing her finger at her malevolently. Tsubaki and her husband stood up, poised to control Tsukasa and Tsukushi from reacting to this insult. "How many men did you sleep with?"

"Stop it. Don't say one more word." Tsukasa said, his teeth and hands clenched. Tsukushi was sitting down, stricken, beside him. Her cheeks had paled, and her lips had whitened at the ghastly words spewing out of his mother.

"Tsukasa, I thought you are smarter than this! How can you be so sure the child is yours?"

"I'm sure." Tsukasa interrupted with gritted teeth.

Kaede continued as if Tsukasa hadn't spoken. "This – this _tramp_ has probably been with more men than we can count! How many wealthy men did you sleep with? Three? Four? Why are you back??? Did your plan to pass off your son as a Hanazawa offspring fail???"

"ENOUGH!!" Tsukane finally said. He had not raised his voice. He did not have to. The congenial air he had given off before was no mask. He was really a sociable person when it came to personal matters. It was only in business that he exhibited a serious and tough exterior. But now, with just one word, they were all reminded of the position he had once held. This man had, with his shrewd mind and cunning, expanded their business to reach far beyond Asian borders, where it had stood when he had taken over.

"Kaede, anyone with eyes can see the child is Tsukasa's. Aside from the hair, he looks exactly the way our son did at that age. Any accusation from you regarding the child's parentage is unjust and clearly insulting. I suggest you keep your own counsel on this matter first before you say something even more regrettable and our son loses what little respect he still has for you." Tsukane admonished his wife, looking at her with disappointment. He can count in one hand the number of times he had actually scolded her. Indeed, he rarely saw her exhibit any emotion, especially a fit of temper like the one he'd just witnessed. She usually had a placid and inscrutable expression, especially when it came to business dealings. Her acute business sense was only one of the reasons he married her. Yet now, it was apparent that though she was a good businessman, she was hardly a good mother.

Domyouji Kaede pursed her lips at what her husband said. "Just because the child looks like him, doesn't mean anything!" He pierced her with a stern look and she kept silent. She usually had free reign in the ruling of their household since after the first few years of their marriage when he had gone to set the world on fire, and he had left her in charge of their children. The only times he had interceded was when she had arranged their daughter's marriage to Takeo and when Tsukasa had his life threatening accident and lost his memories in the process. At other times, he had been willing to trust her judgment when it came to family decisions.

"So now, let's clear up this matter. Admittedly, I have not been a very good father. Over the years, I've spent more time expanding the business and creating an empire rather than focusing on matters of heart and home. I am sorry about this", Tsukane admitted. Tsukasa's frown deepened at his father's words. He didn't understand why he would tell them this now. It was years too late for any kind of regret. Tsubaki, however, was touched by her father's words. She knew it took a lot for him to admit that, and to say it, especially to two grown children who could very well hate him.

"But now I am here. I would like to think that it is not too late to get to know my own children. And if it is, then I'd like the chance to get to know my own grandchildren. However many of them I really have." He looked at his wife when he said this, then he looked at his son and daughter.

Tsubaki was holding on to Takeo's forearm, while Takeo in turn, had his hand at the small of Tsubaki's back. They looked at each other and she nodded to her father with tears in her eyes. She was willing to give him a chance, with her and with her children.

Tsukushi looked at Tsukasa, a question in her eyes. Things had inexplicably turned, and she wasn't entirely certain about where things stand now. All she could see was the beseeching expression in Tsukane's face and the loneliness Tsukasa suffered before because of his father's absence. Tsukasa shrugged. He did not know yet if he was willing to give his father a second chance. But with Yoshi, it was different. He was willing to leave the answer up to Tsukushi.

Tsukushi gave Tsukane a hesitant little nod and a smile. She thought that perhaps letting Yoshi get to know his own grandfather might also help bring about a reconciliation between him and Tsukasa.

She was a bit wary at how well he had turned the situation around though. For all of Tsukasa's mother's interference in their relationship, she guessed that Tsukasa's father would be the more formidable adversary.

"What is your plan?" Tsukane asked Tsukasa.

"I love her and I want to marry her. We want to spend the rest of our lives together." Tsukasa replied in challenge. He wanted to see what his father's response to his declaration would be.

"I was not here at the time that your relationship started, but admittedly I have heard news of it over the years. Yet I am not one to make any decision based on hearsay, and am prepared to make my own assessment based on what I see with my own eyes." Kaede made the tiniest flicker of a reaction at this statement. "I am not in a position to tell you whether you two are right for each other or not, only you can determine that. Whatever went wrong in your relationship in the past, you were young then. You are adults now and you have another life to consider. Don't make my mistake. Whatever you decide, whether to be together or apart, make it, and make it quick. Then you can go and live the life you've chosen, making every moment count."

"That's it? That's all you have to say?" Kaede asked incredulously. "Doesn't it matter to you that this piece of trash is not fit to be the wife of our son? She is a commoner and ill-bred. She doesn't know our ways! She may be living the life of one of our kind these past five years, but that is not enough! Tsukasa has brought shame to this family by mixing with the likes of her!"

"Me? It is not I who shames this family", Tsukasa retorted. "Class is not something you are taught. It is something you are born with. Five years is not enough to teach someone class, but then, neither is a lifetime." This pointed remark hit home and Kaede turned almost purple. A vein was starting to pop in her forehead.

"Okaasan, Tsukasa is right..." Tsubaki started to say..

"You! You are siding with your brother again! This is why he thinks it is all right to defy me!" Kaede pointed at her daughter angrily.

"No, Okaasan", Tsubaki continued determinedly. "I have told you once before, Tsukushi was and has always been good for Tsukasa. They were made for each other. If only you could give them a chance, get to know her, open your mind and your heart and really _see_... I don't understand how you can be so resistant to something that is staring you in the face." Tsubaki finished sadly. As a daughter, she has tried hard to understand her mother. Perhaps the fact that she was lucky enough to eventually fall in love with the man her mother chose for her plays a big part in her tolerance for her mother's interference. Maybe if she really loved someone as much as Tsukasa loves Tsukushi, she would dislike their mother as deeply as he does.

"You! You see what you have done to this family! They are all against me because of you!" Kaede screeched, turning her wrath on Tsukushi yet again. She seemed deaf to Tsubaki's plea. And Tsubaki shook her head defeatedly at her mother's blindness.

"Domyouji-sama, I am deeply sorry for causing any problems in your family. This is not my intention at all. I love Tsukasa. My only intention was to have your blessing and be able to love him freely. That's all it is and that's all it has ever been." Tsukushi told Domyouji Kaede proudly. She was innocent of everything Tsukasa's mother charged her with, and she had nothing to hide.

Tsukasa was touched by Tsukushi's words. She was usually reticent in admitting her feelings for him. _This_. Having her declare her feelings so boldly to his parents, made him love her even more than he already does. He gave her hand a squeeze, conveying his love to her without words. Tsukushi interlocked her fingers with his and returned his gesture. Acknowledging it.

Domyouji Tsukane was filled with admiration for this little slip of a woman. He had heard mixed feedback from different sources over the years about her, and he was never sure what to make of them. He had been undecided on his judgment of her, preferring to let his wife deal with the situation. Five years ago, when Tsukasa sunk into depression, he had thought that Kaede was right and that she was a bad influence – he must be honest with himself that he had been a little disappointed at that assessment and he had secretly hoped that the words of praise were true. Now though, seeing the difference in the way Tsukasa conducted himself - the passion in him. The strength... Tsukane cannot help but credit it to her. These were all things he had wished he could have taught his son himself. That Tsukushi had managed to change him and teach him all this, was not a little thing and not to be short-changed.

"I am not against your relationship", Tsukane said finally. "I won't stand in the way of whatever you choose to do. If you choose to be together, then I won't interfere. And if you choose otherwise, I will make sure that the reasons are of your own making and not because of anyone else." He looked pointedly at his wife when he said this. "I just hope that your relationship will last long and stay strong through challenges and time. Perhaps you will allow us to get to know you and spend time with the family before the wedding?" The question was rhetorical and Tsukane did not expect a reply. "I wish you luck in your relationship. Come, Kaede-chan, let's leave the children alone and get some rest. See you all later." He slowly led a speechless Kaede out of the room, holding her by the crook of her elbow.

"I can't believe you", Kaede told her husband when they were in their quarters. "Why was it so easy for you to accept that woman into this house?"

"Perhaps it is not a matter of my acceptance. Perhaps it's a matter of your denial that you were once a commoner yourself." Tsukane said in response effectively shutting up any reply from his wife.*

The room was quiet when the two left. They were all surprised by what had transpired. The two Domyouji's were filled with awe at the way their father had manipulated the situation and were grateful that he was there to take charge of things. Tsukasa especially, was grateful. Perhaps his old man was not as bad as he thought. His heart warmed toward his father considerably.

"Yahoo! This means we can get married! No one and nothing can stop us now!" Tsukasa cried in exultation, grabbing a stunned Tsukushi by the waist and swinging her around.

Tsubaki and Takeo hugged Tsukushi and offered her their congratulations enthusiastically.

"I still can't believe it went smoothly in the end." Tsukushi admitted. "But I'm not about to question it. I'm just thankful that's over... Do you really think he can stop your mother from doing anything?"

"Yes. If there is one thing I know of my father, it's that when he says something, he means it." Tsukasa assured her, giving her a big carefree smile. Tsukushi was happy to see him with no worries, now they can just concentrate on loving each other and being happy together.

"It's time to start planning the wedding! Ooh, I can't wait!" Tsubaki cried.

"Is someone getting married?" Akemi's voice suddenly reached them as she entered, skipping into the room.

"Who is getting mawied, Mama?" Yoshi asked as well following at a more sedate pace.

*****

_Hmmm, how will Tsukushi answer Yoshi? And how will Yoshi react? :)_

_*No, the kids don't know their mother was a commoner. This is actually partly a cliffhanger, it won't matter in this story, but it will in another story I have brewing in my head – watch out for it! ;)_


	18. Chapter 17: ORIGINS

_**Anime 07**: That's true... I wanted to emphasize that Kaede was the kind of person who let herself be blinded by her prejudices even to the point of dismissing what she actually sees, but I admit that it could confuse people – why didn't she see Yoshi resembled Tsukasa? So I made a revision in Chapter 16 to make it clearer :) Hope that makes it better! Thanks for your feedback! :)_

*****

**Chapter 17: ORIGINS**

"Come Akemi-chan, let's go see if Tadeo is awake. Maybe you can help me feed him, ne?" Tsubaki asked her daughter affectionately, holding out her hand for her daughter to hold.

"I'll go with you, I need to let the office know we've arrived here safely," Takeo intoned as well.

Tsukushi gave them both a grateful look. She knew that they were doing this to give them a chance to talk to Yoshi without an audience. Tsubaki and Takeo gave her answering smiles in return, and left with their daughter holding both their hands. "Bye!" Akemi waved cheerfully to the room in general.

"Uh, maybe I should go and uh, read the newspaper first, Tsukushi," Tsukasa said hedging to the door... Now that the moment for telling Yoshi was near, he was incredibly nervous. His relationship with him was still so new, so alien, that he wasn't sure how Yoshi would take it. Plus, there was the all important matter or Rui's ghost looming over them. His death was still fresh in Yoshi's mind, and of course it would not be easy for Yoshi to accept another father figure quite so soon.

Tsukushi gave Tsukasa a glare. _Don't you dare, Tsukasa..._ it said. But Tsukasa just gave a sheepish smile and continued creeping out the doorway, back first. He gave her a little wave with his right hand and a sheepish wolfy grin before he turned tail and ran out of there. He knew he'd be in big trouble with Tsukushi but he felt it would be better if she talked to Yoshi alone first. _Oh well, even if she didn't agree with what he did, he'll just make it up to her later_, he shrugged to himself and reaching his room, made himself comfortable in the couch and readied himself in wait for feedback on the outcome of "the talk".

"Yoshi, do you like Tsukasa – er, Mr. Domyouji?" Tsukushi asked her son gently, sitting him on the chair beside her. She wasn't exactly sure how to talk over such a thing with her son. Rui had been better at this sort of thing than she was.

"Uh-huh. He's fun." Yoshi nodded his head vigorously.

Tsukushi let out a sigh of relief. "I like him very much too. I used to like him a lot, even before you were born." Yoshi listened, his head cocked to one side, "That must'ave been a looong time ago, huh, Mama?"

"Yes. It was 5 years ago..." Tsukushi gave her son a smile. "I used to like him so much that we were supposed to get married."

"Mawied? Like you an' Daddy were mawied?"

"Uh-hmmm." _How will she explain this in a way that Yoshi will understand_, Tsukushi wondered. "Yes, like Mama and Daddy... Sometimes when you like someone so much, you want to marry them and be happy with them."

"Uh-huh..."

"Mr. Domyouji and Mama will get married. Is that okay?" Tsukushi asked Yoshi, sweeping his hair away from his face.

"Othay," Yoshi said to her solemnly. "You lab him, right Mama?"

Tsukushi's eyes widened. Sometimes the astuteness of children still surprise her. Seeing him grow up had made her realize that children understood more than they let on to adults. Hearing his words, Tsukushi couldn't help but marvel at Yoshi's intuition.

"How did you know that, Yoshi?" Tsukushi couldn't stop herself from asking.

"'Cos you always look at him when you think no one's watching", Yoshi told her. Tsukushi blushed at her son's keen eye but before Tsukushi could say anything else, Yoshi nudged himself off the chair and said, "'Scuse me, Mama, need to go pee pee."

"Okay... I'll meet you up in your room, if Mrs. Noogan isn't there, come and get me, okay?"

Yoshi nodded and left. Tsukushi just sat there for a few minutes going over their conversation. A second later, Tsukasa stepped into the room, "So how did it go???" His anxiety coloring his tone and making it a bit gruffer than usual.

"I think it went well..." Tsukushi murmured still dazed at how fast the conversation had been. She hadn't been sure what to expect but it hadn't been – that.

"You think? What do you mean, 'you think'? Aren't you sure?" Tsukasa persisted. He wanted their child to be okay with their marriage. He wanted his son to like him.

Tsukushi looked at him reproachfully. "He said 'okay' to our being married. That's it."

"That's it? He didn't say anything else?" Tsukasa asked. Tsukushi shook her head. "Nothing at all?" Tsukushi shook her head again. "He wasn't upset?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure?"

Tsukushi was starting to get annoyed with Tsukasa's unending questions. "Of course I'm sure", she said, more sharply than she had intended.

"Hey don't get mad at me! I was just asking!", Tsukasa protested holding his palms up in front of him.

"Hmph! You could have been here. If you were, you didn't have to ask me all these questions," Tsukushi told him pointedly.

Tsukasa blushed. "Hmmm yeah... Well, I was nervous okay?" He confessed. "I wouldn't know what to say. Besides you're his mom, you should be the one to tell him!"

"Oh really??? Well, you're his dad, you should know how to tell him yourself!" Tsukushi said teasingly.

"Mr. Do'youji is my Daddy?" A plaintive voice suddenly asked penetrating the room.

_Yoshi_, Tsukushi thought. _He still didn't know. And what a way to hear the truth about your origins. S_he groaned inwardly, _way to go, Tsukushi. _

Yoshi's eyes kept darting warily back and forth between her figure on the chair and Tsukasa, who had grown silent at the question.

*****

_Sorry I couldn't make it longer, I have to go somewhere and I wanted to put a chapter in... No, just kidding – I did it on purpose, couldn't resist teasing you guys just a little bit.... ;)_


	19. Chapter 18: RUI

**Chapter 18 RUI**

"Come here, Yoshi," Tsukushi said, crouching on the floor and extending an arm out to her son.

Yoshi slowly walked back into the room, never taking his eyes off his mother's.

Tsukasa was still shocked that Yoshi had walked in at just that moment. Perhaps they'd prevaricated long enough and they needed to tell him the truth, whatever his reaction may be. It was his right to know who his father really was. Selfishly though, he hoped that Yoshi would not reject him. That perhaps he would be as willing to trust him as his father as much as he had been willing to trust him as his friend.

"Is he really my daddy, Mama?" Yoshi asked, his head bent down when he reached the circle of his mother's arms.

Tsukasa also crouched down to join them.

"Yes, Yoshi. He's really your Daddy." Tsukushi told her son honestly. She thought that perhaps saying it straight was the best way. That way, Yoshi would not be any more confused than he may already be.

"What about my other Daddy?" Yoshi asked, looking up at her. He looked forlorn. His bottom lip pushed out and turned down at the sides.

"He is still your Daddy. That hasn't changed. He loved you and spent time with you and took care of you. That's what a Daddy does." Tsukasa said to him firmly. He wanted his son's love, but he was not willing to take away the affection that Yoshi had shared with Rui. After all, in a way, he owed Rui big time.

Yoshi thought about it, pushing out his lips and rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

"So I have two Daddies?" he asked them again, trying to understand.

"Yes, you have two Daddies. One here and one in heaven... But maybe you can just call Mr. Domyouji, Papa and you can continue calling your other Daddy, Daddy, okay?" Tsukushi answered.

"Hmmm, othay..." Yoshi agreed. The two adults breathed in relief. But Yoshi still looked thoughtful, and when his expression slowly gave way to anxiety, Tsukushi and Tsukasa exchanged identical looks of alarm.

"What is it, Yoshi???" Tsukushi asked, rubbing his back to console him.

"Mama, I lost my teddy. Daddy told me if I get another Daddy to give Toyo to him", Yoshi told her sadly.

"Your Daddy told you this?" Tsukasa asked in surprise.

Yoshi turned to look at him and said shyly, "Yes. He said to give it to a new Daddy. But only if he had curly hair."

Tsukasa shifted his look of shock to Tsukushi and silently asked her if she knew anything about this. Tsukushi shook her head back at him, _no_. She was just as confused as he was.

"Hmmm, okay, Yoshi... Don't worry..." Tsukasa gave him a pat in the shoulder. "I'll be right back." He stood. Tsukushi looked up at him, a question in her eyes. _Bear_, Tsukasa mouthed. She nodded and he rushed out of the room.

"Yoshi, when did your Daddy tell you this?" Tsukushi held Yoshi's shoulders and turned him to look at her.

"Hmmm, he told me when he was in the 'ospital, Mama..." Yoshi told her guiltily. "It was s'pposed to be a secret... Mrs. Nookan brought me there 'cos Daddy asked to see me."

"Where was I?" Tsukushi asked herself out loud as she tried to recall when exactly this could have happened.

"You were with Ojiisan, Mama. Daddy said we had to be fast 'cos you would be back soon."

Tsukushi's eyes went wide when she realized the time Yoshi was talking about. She had gone to the office quickly to go over some paperwork with Rui's grandfather and the lawyers. Rui had been growing weaker more and more as each day had passed and they'd agreed to work on their wills, plus make decisions on the company's future. She'd gone to the office and met with the others. She had rushed through the meeting so much she'd almost forgotten to sign the paperwork they'd drawn up. She remembered being gone for only two hours. Rui must have worked fast.

"Here, Yoshi. I had your bear... I've been meaning to give it back to you but... I just forgot", Tsukasa said lamely as he returned holding the bear out to Yoshi. Tsukushi understood. He'd wanted a piece of his son to hold on to. She took his hand and squeezed it when he sat down beside her.

"Toyo!" Yoshi cried happily. He grabbed the bear and gave it a tight squeeze closing his eyes and twisting from side to side. His parents exchanged a look of amusement.

"Here, Papa... You can have him. Daddy said to give him to you." Yoshi said, giving the bear back to Tsukasa grudgingly.

"Thank you, Yoshi. I will just take care of him for a few days and then I'll give him back to you okay? Maybe you can babysit him for me. You've done such a good job taking care of him, your Daddy would have been okay with that."

Yoshi's face brightened up at that and he gave Tsukasa a hug. "That's a gweat idea! Okay, I gotta go take a bath now!" He ran out.

When he was gone, Tsukushi edged over more closely to Tsukasa so she could get a better look. "Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing, crazy woman?" Tsukasa asked her as he fell over sideways.

"Oops", Tsukushi said smiling, putting her hand in front of her lips, she must have gotten too close.

Tsukasa righted himself and said, "Rui only said to give it to the _Daddy_. He didn't say anything about the mom!"

"Hey, that's so unfair! I'm sure he would want you to tell me what's inside!" Tsukushi protested. Then she suddenly leaned over to make a grab for the bear. She touched one of the legs and pulled.

Tsukasa instinctively raised the bear to take it out of her way, not realizing that Tsukushi was already holding on to part of him. _RRRRIIIIIPPP!_

"Uh-oh!" They said in unison, looking down at the pieces of Yoshi's beloved teddy bear that had fallen apart in their hands.

"We'll fix it. He'll never know the difference." Tsukushi said going closer to Tsukasa and trying to get the other bigger piece of the bear that was in his hands.

"Just a sec. Something's in here." Tsukasa halted her progress, looking intently down at the stuffing that had been exposed. Slowly, he started widening the rip.

"Oy, why are you destroying him even more??" Tsukushi shouted trying to stop him.

"'We'll fix it. He'll never know the difference.'" Tsukasa echoed her words as he continued ripping another inch down the bear's side.

Tsukushi made a face at the way he'd thrown her words back at her.

"Success!" Tsukasa pulled out an envelope from the bear's body and raised it high in the air, jumping up as he did so. The envelope rustled a bit when he did that.

Tsukushi immediately stood up at his statement, and they both leaned in to read the writing at the back of the envelope.

_DOMYOUJI TSUKASA_, it said in Rui's familiar handwriting.

"Eh?" they said. _How did Rui know to address it to Tsukasa?_

Quickly, Tsukasa opened it and dropped the contents into his hand. The letter only moved a little down, but something heavier fell into his palm. Their eyes widened as they saw it.

_The Saturn necklace. _

*****

_How did Rui get the necklace? What had he been up to? _


	20. Chapter 19: THE SATURN NECKLACE

**Chapter 19 THE SATURN NECKLACE**

"H-how did Rui get this?" Tsukasa asked, perplexed. He clenched his fist around it. Last thing about it he remembered was Tsukushi throwing it at him. He tried to recall the last time he saw it... It had been awhile, but now that he thought about it, he used to put it in his pocket everyday. Touching it and feeling its weight there had given him some measure of peace when he still had amnesia. After he got his memories back, he knew he had gone on a drinking binge and he didn't remember seeing the necklace after that. And when he heard about Tsukushi and Rui's wedding, he'd looked for the necklace and became depressed when he failed to find it. To him, it had been just one more regret when it came to her.

"I don't know. I never even knew he had it." Tsukushi murmured. There had been so many surprises today. Too many. "Maybe you should read the letter, maybe he explained how he came to have it." She was confused and had a lot of questions herself. How many secrets did Rui hide from her? How was it that he was always able to do little things like this? Little things that he knew would mean a lot to her. She had always regretted returning the Saturn necklace to Tsukasa. Even though she'd been so hurt and confused during that time, she'd missed it. There had been many moments when she'd found herself caressing her neck to touch it, only to remember that it was not with her anymore.

_Tsukasa,_

_I'm guessing you're surprised I have this. I received it for Tsukushi one day in the mail with no return address. When I opened the package and saw the necklace I got scared. I knew it came from you and Tsukushi was still waiting. She still loved – still loves you. I don't think that will ever change... _

_When I got the necklace, she was still pregnant. Still waiting. Still hoping. For you. I admit I was furious at seeing it. I knew it was a call for her to return and I knew you got your memory back. If I had given it to her, she might have done what you had asked. And I didn't want that. I'm sorry I kept it from her.... There had been many chances for me to give her the necklace, but time passed, and the opportunity passed me by. I'm sorry. I wanted her to marry me. To lean on me and no one else. To be happy I was by her side. I thought if I kept the necklace, she'd learn to forget you and move on. On to loving me instead. But that didn't happen. _

_We got married, but she loves you. I'm sorry for getting in the way of that. I don't know if you – and she – can ever forgive me, but I'm hoping you will... Forgive me for acting on my selfish desires. For pretending your family was my own for a little while... I'm hoping that by telling Yoshi in a subtle way that you are his real father and by urging Tsukushi to come back and tell you the truth, I'll have earned some of your forgiveness. Yours and hers. You two belong together._

_I'm sending you the necklace back. Somehow I had faith that you and Tsukushi would find each other again. If you're reading this now, I know I wasn't wrong._

_Maybe now you can put the necklace back on her, where it belongs and where I'm sure it will stay. Forever._

_Rui_

Tsukasa closed his eyes momentarily to fight the surge of emotion that came to him at reading Rui's letter. Tsukushi asked, "What is it, Tsukasa?" He didn't answer, instead he passed on the letter for her to read and he stomped to the windows. The vein in his forehead clenching and unclenching as he tried to keep his feelings in check.

He could see Tsukushi reading the damning letter at the corner of his eye. Saw exactly when enlightenment came. Her mouth opened into the shape of an "O" as she realized what Rui had done. When she finished, she brought down the letter slowly.

"I can't believe it." She said shaking her head.

"You can't believe what? That he did this? Well, he did. You read the letter." Tsukasa told her sharply.

"No... I'm sorry. It seemed I did you an even greater disservice than I realized but I never knew." Tsukushi looked at him with a vulnerable expression on her face.

"What are you talking about, woman?" Tsukasa stormed.

"I'm sorry. If I'd only known about this, I could have come back sooner. I could have found you and we could have been together all this time." She said, her tears welling up. All the years she'd spent yearning for him were in her eyes.

"Oh, Tsukushi... It's not your fault. You didn't know." Tsukasa softened and he reached over to hug her close, murmuring into her hair. "If I had known Rui would keep something like this from you, I'd have gone over there to get you myself. I'm just as much at fault..." He sighed. "I'm mad as hell he did this. But is it weird to say that at the same time, I understand him as well?"

Tsukushi tilted her head to the side and gazed at him questioningly. "Why do you say that?"

"Because in the end, even if he hadn't done this, if we really were meant to be together five years ago, whether or not we knew about it – any of it, we'd have said 'to heck with it' and done everything to be together. But we let our pride get in the way. Even if he didn't do this, we'd still be exactly where we are right now." Tsukasa told her, his hand was at the back of her hand, keeping her close.

"When did you get so smart?" Tsukushi asked him incredulously in a low tone, her voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt. Tsukasa let out a laugh and said, "I've always been smart. Just took you this long to realize it."

"Eh?" Tsukushi said, and Tsukasa captured her lips to give him a long thorough kiss.

They hugged again and just stood like that for a moment, just holding each other, drinking in each other's nearness.

"I wonder who sent him the necklace though..." Tsukushi wondered out loud after some time.

Tsukasa shrugged. "Whoever it was, must have been incredibly annoyed that his or her plan didn't succeed."

"Before I forget," Tsukasa slowly loosened one arm from around Tsukushi and opened his palm. The Saturn necklace lay there, glittering under the rays of the morning sun. Tsukushi turned around and lifted her hair out of the way as he opened the clasp and placed the necklace on her neck. Slowly, he pressed a kiss at her nape where the necklace touched her skin. Tsukushi shivered involuntarily at the soft contact.

"Yo!" Soujirou's voice greeted them as he and Akira entered the room where they were at. "What are you two doing here?" The two lovers jumped and broke apart as soon as they heard the intrusion.

"We could ask you the same thing!" Tsukasa retorted.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen... Let's just go to the den and talk there", Tsukushi said trying to keep the peace.

"So, how have things been?" Akira asked.

"Why do you need to know? Are you planning to meddle in our affairs again?" Tsukasa looked at him with suspicion.

"No, man! Jeez, some people are so sensitive. It was just an innocent question that's all." Akira protested laughingly. He and Soujirou exchanged a look. Tsukushi's presence had worked miracles. Tsukasa was back to his obnoxious self.

"Tsukasa..." Tsukushi told him in warning.

"Hey, how come you always side with these two?" Tsukasa demanded. Tsukushi just shook her head at him and turned to the two men.

"Things have been fine... Tsukasa's parents got in today..." Soujirou and Akira exchanged identical looks of horror. They could only imagine what kind of catastrophe had occurred when they found that Tsukushi was living here. "And we told Yoshi the truth", Tsukushi continued, she paused again for maximum effect. Two pairs of eyes widened even further at that piece of news. "Plus, we found this!", she ended triumphantly, holding up the Saturn necklace for them to see.

Soujirou grabbed the necklace from Tsukushi, forgetting that she was wearing it around her neck. "OUCH!" she yelled. But Soujirou and Akira ignored her even though she was too close to them and was leaning her head away so far back she looked like an inverted "U". The two just continued murmuring at each other.

"Is this it?"

"Yeah, looks like..."

"But how did??"

Suddenly, Tsukasa hit their heads together. "Hey! Let go!"

Akira rubbed his head where it hit Soujirou's. He just knew he was going to get a bruise later. One bad thing about Tsukushi's return, she raised Tsukasa's protective instincts and made him more violent towards anyone he thinks is hurting her.

"We were just checking to see if it was the real Saturn necklace." Soujirou protested groaning as he rubbed his head as well.

"But how did you guys get that???" Akira demanded. "I thought it was lost for all eternity", he said dramatically, frowning at the mystery.

"We thought so too." Tsukushi said. "But - ..."

"Rui sent it to us." Tsukasa finished.

"Eh???" Soujirou and Akira exclaimed.

Tsukasa then ended up explaining how they had come about finding the necklace inside Toyo the teddy bear. When he finished, their two friends became silent.

"Rui did that?" Akira said finally.

"Ne." Tsukasa informed him.

"And you're not mad?"

"I was at first, but then thinking it over, I know we were more at fault than he was."

"Hmmm, that's quite a turn about for you.... I've never known you to forgive someone so easily." Akira mused.

"Maybe I wouldn't if I don't have Tsukushi with me now. That changes things", Tsukasa pointed out.

Tsukushi gave him a big happy smile which he returned.

"Well since everyone is so happy..." The two lovebirds broke contact to look at Soujirou.

"I'm the one who sent the necklace", he confessed.

******

_Now we understand why he was so mad Tsukushi did not come back... Yeeshhhh...._


	21. EPILOGUE: HELLO'S AND GOODBYE'S

**EPILOGUE: HELLO'S AND GOODBYE'S**

The young woman stood against the cool breeze of an Indian summer. She wore a light yellow dress loosely tied at the back. The dappled rays of the afternoon sun glimmered on her bare arms. Her hair flew behind her in jet black streams, the strands dancing in the wind.

It had been so long since she's been here.

She clasped the pendant that rested at the base of her neck, and she remembered the days and moments that had passed since.

After they found out it was Soujirou who had intervened and sent the Saturn necklace to her, they had been _oh-so-tempted_ to knock his head in for his interference. Yet what stopped them was the realization that for all his meddling, it had backfired on him. He was their friend and he had only been looking after their best interest at a time when they were too self-absorbed to do it themselves.

Tsukushi smiled wryly as she thought about the uneasy truce she and her mother-in-law had erected between them. It helped that they now lived in a separate home of their own. But the main trigger in bridging the gap had been the most surprising of all. _Yoshi._

Domyouji Kaede had initially set her mind against him. Even though her husband would spend time with all three of his grandchildren, she had flatly refused to join in if Yoshi was there. It wasn't so much the child she was rejecting, but the relationship that bore fruit to him.

One day, Yoshi had fallen asleep in the library. Kaede had entered to browse the stacks and to spend some alone time to read. She had sat on a chair diagonally across the couch that Yoshi had been sleeping on. Since its back was facing toward her, she probably had not known that Yoshi was there, otherwise, she would have left for sure. After some time had passed, and unknown to his grandmother, Yoshi had awoken and had been secretly staring at her as she read the book she'd chosen.

Perhaps it was intuition or some sound that alerted her to another presence, but she looked up and met Yoshi's eyes - so much like his father's. Yoshi had smiled sweetly at her and said, "You're pretty, Obaasan... Wanna play?"

The look on Kaede's face as she and Tsukasa had walked in and saw her on all fours playing with Yoshi... From that moment, with those words, Yoshi had his grandmother wrapped around his little finger... The next day, she had even had a golden Saturn pendant made especially for him with his name, "Tsuyoshi", engraved on the back.

Tsukushi sighed... Who knew how long the truce would last? But she was not taking anything for granted this time. This was the chance she'd been wanting from the very beginning. She would not just throw it away...

Her family had come for the wedding. At first, she had been hesitant to even call and invite them, let alone send them an invitation... But Susumu had encouraged her and Tsukasa had seconded it. She knew she'd sounded hesitant over the phone, but her mother's squeal of happiness at hearing her voice, her father's cries of relief when they heard from her at last, rubbed away the last remaining wounds that had set in her heart.

She had so much to be thankful for now... Good friends and a loving family... Her one true love - Someone who had loved her even through the passing time and relentless distance, and her soulmate - someone who had been there for her on earth and after death, had been there still.

"Tsukushi-chan, let's go! We might miss the show!" Tsukasa called out to her from beside the open door of the limo.

Inside, two tousle headed children joined their father - "Mama! Mama! Come on, Mama!"

Tsukushi laughed and ran to join them. Stopping by the limo for a moment, Tsukasa used his hand to tuck a strand of hair away from her face. They looked deeply into each other's eyes and kissed.

_Thank you, Hanazawa Rui._

_I won't let this go this time around._

*****

_I hope you guys like the ending... At first I wanted to write another chapter, but my heart says this story has ran its course :) _

_Thank you to all my readers for taking the time to read, review and encourage me to write – especially to darkbluegirl, anime07, yurirawr, bosk, Rose Crimsonpaw, Morlana, Star Serenade, BelieveDreamsComTrue, kawaii ninja otaku, reader00, baka!, mrs. Tsukasa, bebepantheon, and everyone else who have stayed with me till the end of this story._

_Thank you for all the alerts and subscriptions... I don't think I would have been so encouraged to update so fast and so soon if not for all of you!_

_See you again in my next story! TC!_


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